Saturday, October 13, 2012

Loving myself in God

My Lord, my God, my King, my Savior, help me Dear Lord to follow you today in simplicity.  I love you and wish only to serve You the rest of my life.  I am nothing in the worlds eyes.  I am of no consequence.  Yet You who created all love me and want me to be myself.  I am imperfection personified but You the Savior of the world love me.  I don't have to conform to the worlds ideal of beauty or success.  If the world can only love me if I am perfect but You love me inspite of not being perfect then I want to follow You.  You love everyone and want them to come to You.  I must learn to love them also because You are reflected in them and I must learn to love myself for the same reason.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Competitive Praying or are you really holy if no one else knows?

I admit, I'm guilty.  I sit in the front pew.  I do the things that make me look "holy", because that's what's important right?  That I should been seen to be holy by other peoples standards?  It. True, people should be able to see your faith by looking at your life.  That whole light under a bushel thing.  What I question is my urge to be seen to be holy by empty gestures.  Kneeling, genuflecting, prostrating yourself are ways to humble yourself to God, to show submission.  I think that's why we find them so difficult at times.  On the other hand, I know sometimes we do them just for show or because everyone else is.  That's okay as a starting point but if we never think about what we're doing or we become proud that we are doing them or worse become angry because others aren't doing them then we are missing the point.

We can't be afraid to show the world that we are people of faith.  On the other hand if we wear a giant cross on our chest and gossip and backstab we are showing Our level of faith and are actually proving to the world that our faith has no meaning.  I admit I am guilty of this.  Wouldn't it be great if the symbols of our faith would fall to the ground everytime we made a mockery of them by our behavior?  I would soon learn learn to hold my tongue. Luckily God will never abandon us no matter how badly we behave.  We have to depend our conscience if we ever actually consult it.

The big question I have is this, do I want to get to church early in the morning to be "first" or because I need solitude with God to start my day?  I hope it's because I need God.  I am going to try something.  Instead of getting up eating breakfast getting ready for work and then going to the church where I can be found to be there first, I am going to get up get dressed, go to church for my God time and then go home and get ready for work and go back to church later for Morning prayer.  That way I can be in the real presence of God and no one will see.  I am blogging about so anyone who reads this will know but you don't know me so I don't think that counts.  If I backslide and get there later and later then I know I just wanted to be seen but if I keep doing it without anyone knowing then maybe I am making progress in my spiritual life.