Friday, December 28, 2012

Reflections on the Feast of the Holy Innocents - allowing the deaths of Children for political reasons.

This morning as we did Morning Prayer on the Feast of the Holy Innocents it came to me that the deaths of holy innocents is still happening.  We make political decisions every day in our world that cause the deaths of children.  We are all upset over the deaths in Newtown CT, they were definately innocents, but do we get upset over the children who have died in Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria, Gaza etc? Are the children who die as "collateral damage" any less innocent?  If they are innocent what does that mean to us?  Can we really just say that is the cost of war?

If we are Pro-Life I think we have to be totally Pro-Life, cradle to grave, and not just the people we like and understand.  Children killed in poorly constructed schools in China, children killed in Chernobyl, children who die anywhere because it is politically expedient are all part of the continuation of Herod's murderous act.  We are horrified that he tried to kill our Savior by ordering the killing of all the children under the age of 2, and rightly so, but did we cry over the death of 8 children in Syria killed in a tank attack 2 days ago?

I think at times we refuse to let reports of the deaths of children to sink in because if we let all the reports in we would do nothing but cry.  But because we ignore these deaths to protect ourselves we don't take action.  It's easier to concentrate on the anti-abortion stance because we aren't taking part even in a small in the deaths so it's safe for us to think about.  If we think about the deaths of children as part of drone attacks, we have to recognize that we ourselves are in some small way Herod.

Herod killed those children to protect his regime.  Probably in his mind what he did, he did for the good of his country.  How often do we discount the welfare of children to save money on taxes, or to avoid government regulation, to our rights?  When we don't speak up for, protect, or decry the death of children we are in someway responsible for their deaths.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Carrying the Christ child out into the world

Merry Christmas!  Today with all its hustle and bustle is a hard day to find the quiet needed for meditation.  Lucky for us Christmas lasts 8 days in our Church, we have the Octave of Christmas.  That gives us plenty of time to reflect on the meaning of our Savior coming into the world, what that means for us, and how we are called to respond.

I have a suggestion for a meditation.  Read the nativity story in Luke's Gospel.  Find a quiet comfortable space, set the scene in a way that will help you focus your mind.  I use a dark quiet room with candles and incense.  Read over the story once to familiarize yourself with it and then again slowly contemplating each sentence.  Next pray to the Holy Spirit to guide you as you meditate on the birth of Christ.  Close your eyes, imagine what the stable where was born, what does it smell like?  There are animals and hay.  What does it sound like?  Do you hear the animals?  Mary and Joseph are they talking?  How does the air feel, is it cold, or damp, or warm?  What do you see?  Look around in your mind.  Look at Joseph, how does he look?  Look at Mary, what do you see?  Finally, let your eyes rest on the Christ child.  What do see?  How do you feel?  Ask Mary if you can hold Him.  Take the Love of the world into your arms.  Gaze at Him, warm and helpless in your arms.  Sit there for a while just holding Him quietly.  Let go, and the Holy Spirit guide you.  There are no wrong answers here, let go and let God.

Now imagine that He never leaves your arms.  You are to carry Him out into the world.  To every person you meet, you carry Him to them.  What is it like to carry Him to your friends, family, and coworkers?  How do explain, who it is that you carry?  The world is introduced to our Savior by you.  He cannot speak to them, you have to speak for Him.  Or better yet, if you let Him, He can speak through you.  What does that mean for you and how you live your life.  If you hide the Christ child and refuse to show Him to anyone except those who already carry Him, are you doing His will.  Do you get tired and refuse to carry Him?  By your actions, do you show the Christ to be Love incarnate, or a fraud?  As Christians, we are embassadors of our faith to the world.

With New Year coming take sometime and write a few resolutions based on what the Holy Spirit lead you to see.  if you want to you can share some of what you learned in a comment.  May God bless you and keep you.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

I am a beloved child of God, and so are you

We had confession tonight at church.  I went with my R. Ed class.  I didn't plan on going to confession because I went last week.  What sins had I committed in the last week?  I couldn't have done much.  But as I sat there I thought first that I hadn't been trusting God lately.  I've been worried alot.

I hit a deer coming home about two months ago.  I had only liability insurance my car was wrecked.  Don't even ask me about the deer, I still mourn the loss of that beautiful creature.  How was I going to fix my car?  How was I going to get to work?  I was afraid to drive and I was beating myself up over what I saw as my failure.  I turned to God and begged for help but I still worried.  The crazy thing is that it all worked out and in the end I even had the money I needed for a repair that came up unrelated to the wreck.  So God really took care of me, but I didn't trust Him enough to not worry.

Why do I worry I thought.  Because part of me sees myself as so bad that I am outside of Gods love.  That I have to be perfect to be loved even by God, and I am not perfect.  The silly thing is that if someone came to me I would joyfully tell them that God loves them more than we can ever imagine.  That if they were the only one who needed saving, He would have still died for them.  He loves them so much it hurts.  And I believe that, but there is still this little dark place in me that is afraid of failing Him.

So, I took both of those sins to confession.  Right now I feel like God has opened up an infected wound.  I feel better and can now heal.  God works in mysterious ways.  I went back to my pew and prayed and cried.  I realized that there are so many things I haven't been trusting Him with.  I haven't trusted Him about my love life or my ministry.  I had never thought of that.  Why am I worrying?  He loves me, I need to let go, and let God.  He loves me, I am worth loving, and even better, He loves me even when I am not perfect.  I don't have to be perfect.

I had been reading some Advent reflections by Padre Pio but I misplaced the book (not being perfect again) so picked another book that caught my eye on St Francis.  Before confession and this realization I couldn't read the next paragraph, it just didn't register when I read it.  After confession I tried again.  It talked about our life on the threshing floor of God.  If we relax and go with God, we are free, and we don't get hurt.  But life is so much harder when we resist and doubt.  We hold on to ground, to our own ideas and resist His loving removal of our chaff.  Wow, that was me!  Holding on to the ground and getting beaten by life.  I want to be free!  I want let go, like at the top of a roller coaster ride, throw my hands up and enjoy the ride.  Quit worrying and trust God.

I know this isn't the end of worrying for me, I am not perfect.  That's okay, He loves me and will continue to call me back to Him, remind me how much He loves me, and to trust Him.  May God bless you and keep you.

Morning Prayer - Further Reflections on Advent

I am very lucky, not only do I live near my church but I have a key so I can get to church early in the morning and pray before the tabernacle.  These mornings are do like Advent.  Sitting there waiting for God, listening for God.  Finally He comes and I am enveloped in Him and in His light

It is a pregnant time, full of so much longing and yearning.  Wanting to see Him, feel Him,and speak to Him.  It is still dark, but I know that dawn is coming.  Others will arrive and we will start the ritual of Morning Prayer.  Morning Prayer something shared, a lot like Christmas.  Now it is quiet and dark and I sit here watching and waiting for the coming of the Savior.  How Blessed is this time!  It reminds me of how much I long for Him.

Today, I will try to carry this feeling with me, to be always looking for Him today in everyone I meet.  Everyone I see has a spark of Him and it is my job to see it, my job to look for it.  I have heard that Buddists spend their whole day looking for the Budda in every person.  They walk down the street saying to themselves Budda?  Budda?  Budda?  We can learn from them.  We know that God is there in each person.  So when I answer the phone today, I shouldn't be annoyed, I am not just talking to someone, I am also talking to Christ.  He is there in each person, if only we look for Him.  And how do we see Him?  We have to look with Love.  I am still working on that.  May God Bless you.

Friday, December 14, 2012

I still believe in life

Today I am reminded that the most important value in my life is one that underpins every thing else in my life.  I believe in life.  Life, every life, is important.  I know that the man who killed all those people had problems in his life.  He must have been very angry or mentally ill, but no matter what, what he did is an abomination that makes heaven itself weep.  Barring mental illness, he is responsible for what he did.  It was his choice, and I leave it to God to judge him.

Why does this keep happening?  Lives are seen as something disposable that can been thrown away to make a statement or when they are inconvenient.  We place the rights of the individual as paramount.  We have a right to treat each other as trash.  We use each other sexually, we cheat on our spouses and throw them away when we get tired of them, we refuse to set up social systems to keep the unfortunate from demeaning poverty.  The people around us are just there for us to use, like we do with the rest of the world.  We consume.  Why are we suprized then when someone uses the lives of the innocent as a way to say what they want to say?

How can we treat any life as disposible?  Life is a gift given to us by God, it came from God and we have no right to destroy it.  Until we resign ourselves to the fact that all life is precious and we have no right to destroy it, or hamper it, or make it not worth living, I fear we will continue to see these kinds of killings.

I pray for all those effected by this tragedy.  For all the parents, siblings, grandparents, friends, etc whose hearts are broken.  I pray for all of us.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Don't be afraid, for your Savior is coming, reflection on the first week of Advent.

I love to walk at night and gaze at the stars.  At this time of year it's even more special because the Christmas lights are coming out and people are starting to set up Nativity displays.  When I walk past each Nativity I stop for a moment and I think about the manger sitting there empty and how Mary and Joseph are looking down at it long for it to be filled.

Today is the feast of the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary.  Today we think about our Mother and how she was conceived without sin so that she could be the ark of the new covenant. I thought how she is waiting for birth of her son. We are all in a sense pregnant with the expectation of the Coming.  He is coming.

He is coming into our hearts, building His home there, transforming us if we will let Him in.  And who are we letting in?  Do we let in the Baby Jesus?   That non-threatening little baby who we can hold and admire who doesn't ask anything of us?  Or are we welcoming the fully grown Savior who asks us for our very lives? I think we usually have to start with that little baby.  Who loves us and just asks to be loved.  But just as a child grows up and demands more of his family so does Christ ask more of us as we grow in our faith.  Just as it wouldn't be normal for a child not to grow, it isn't normal for our faith to not grow.  In fact if faith doesn't grow, it may well die.

But don't be afraid!  He is coming into the world.  He is our Savior and He saves us!  If He is our Savior, we can trust Him.  He loves us so much, he died for us.  He won't ask too much of us.  He wants what's good for us, for our eternal life.

So, I wait in the darkness,pregnant with anticipation, for the Light of the world to come.  I wait to hold the baby that will grow in my heart to an adult faith.  I wait to hear his voice, the cry in the night that will change my life and make me even more myself.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

A broken tool in the hand of the Master

I wonder constantly why God calls me.  I am such a faulty tool for his hand.  Everything is a struggle for me.  Life is a struggle for me.  He could call so many others who could a much better job than I can.  I am not a good organizer or a good speaker.  I can't preach, I forget everything and get it wrong.  Yet He calls me, and he asks me to do things I would never want to do myself.  Why does He do this?  Maybe He has already called the others who are better and they refused.  Maybe He calls me to show me and everyone else that if we depend on Him, He can do anything through us.

If I would trust in Him my life would not be so anxious.  I sit here in my house and I have all I need because He takes care of me.  I don't need power or prestige.  I need love, and I need to share that love.  He gives me that.  On my own I would stay isolated and I wouldn't have what I need.  He has given me friends and companions for my faith journey.  He has opened my heart.

What is God calling you to do?  Have you said yes?  If you haven't don't be afraid to say yes.  He loves you, He made you, and he knows what's best for you.  What will make you happy.  Open your heart to Him and say yes.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Advent vs Christmas

The priest at our church is a lovely and very holy man who lives out his faith everyday in who he lives.  Every year he covers our church and rectory in Christmas lights starting right after Thanksgiving.  There are some people who love the lights and some who object to them as participating in the commercialization of Christmas and not giving the season of Advent it's proper place.

We as Catholics are supposed to use the season of Advent to prepare our lives and our hearts for the coming of our Lord and Savior.  It is a time of reflection and prayer and also a time to show our love for God by helping others.  In the world, this time between Thanksgiving and Christmas has become an orgy of spending and consuming.  A time to beat the next person to the best deal on some new gadget.

If the world has forgotten the meaning of Christmas, whose fault is that?  Is it the stores?  The media?  Or is it our fault?  What good is it, in the midst of all the busy shopping and preparation to have our little church be dark?  As people pass by they would not be reminded at all that this time of the year is different. Instead when you pass St Paul's you can not miss it.  It shines like the light of Christ.  It is the lamp what can't be hidden under a bushel.  It is a beacon to remind people that there are still Christians in our world and that we are preparing for the coming of the God of Love.

How can we as followers of the Light of the world honor Advent in our lives?  What are we called to do to carry that light into the world?  If the world has left Christ out of Christmas it is our fault,not theirs.  To often we fail to carry Gods love in our hearts to rest of the world.  We don't practice our faith in the most meaningful ways, by loving.  To truly prepare for the coming of Christ we have to prepare our hearts by forgiving those we need to forgive.  By examining our thoughts and beliefs and purging ourselves of our biases and prejudices.  Christ is coming into our world and we don't know how he will look.  Is he the homeless man who asks us for a couple of bucks?  Is he the immigrant who doesn't speak English?  Is he the single mom who just needs some help to feed her kids?  The answer is that he is all these people.  Celebrate Advent and Christmas not just by not doing but by doing.  Show Christ to the world by how you live and how you love,and just by not putting up Christmas lights.

As always I write this blog more as a reminder to myself than anything else. If you find anything useful in it please let me know.  If you find anything you disagree with, please also share that.