Sunday, June 30, 2013

God is in charge - Detachment 3

This next month I am in charge of doing our ongoing formation for my Secular Franciscan group.  Initially I thought of doing the formation on the Eucharist but as I prayed over it I kept coming across things about detachment so I decided to explore that topic for formation.  Well, several months ago I signed up for a talk being given by Fr Albert Haasse OFM that was held yesterday and guess what he talked about?  Detachment!  Before God was whispering to me about detachment, yesterday, he spoke rather loudly and in a New Orleans accent to me about it.

I actually wondered seeing so many of my Franciscan brothers and Sisters were there if I should change my topic.  I don't think so.  I think it was God telling to go for it and giving me some more input.

One of the ideas that Fr Albert talked about is how detachment and renunciation are not the same thing.  Renunciation is cosmetic, or as he called it "lawn mowing".  It doesn't get at the root of the problem.  You deny yourself what you really feel you need to be happy and so make yourself and those around you miserable.  Detachment is a process that gets at the root.  It starts with recognizing  the thoughts that lead you to the desire for whatever it is.  Recognizing the thought and asking yourself what is that all about allows you to begin to detach yourself from the things that hold you back in growing spiritually.

One of the other points I found helpful is the idea that when we are so attached to things and ideas we are insulting God.  We aren't trusting Him to take care of us, to provide us with what we need.  We are inessiance saying to God that He may have created us and the world we live in but we know what we need and we don't need Him to get it.  We think that these things will make us finally happy and we chase them.  We get angry with God because He doesn't give them to us when we ask Him for them.  Lord, make we popular, make that person desire me, give me success, give me money, but in reality we are asking God to give us a stone, when what He wants to give us is the Living Bread.  

Friday, June 21, 2013

Detachment 2

Today I heard the results of a survey where the American people say that organized religion is loosing it's influence.  The person who conducted the survey saw now as an opportunity for religions to prove what they are and why they should have influence.

I think what he says is true.  At a time of "popularity" of religion we often took it for granted that those of us in a church had faith and it was being passed on to our children, but was it?  Or was it really just something people did because it was the norm?  I think that is the truth of it for most people.  They belonged to a faith but it had little to no influence on how they lived and now the new generation is saying to us that won't work.

How does that fit into detachment?  We have to detach ourselves from the idea of external trappings. The cross on my neck doesn't make me a Christian, what I believe isn't the whole story either, but how I act.  I can't say I believe in the sanctity of life and then not support life from conception to natural death in all I say and do, and not be a liar.  If I believe that you can't abort a child but I myself  never am open to life, or only open to life on my terms, I am a liar.  Do I dress like a Christian do I wear a cross and think that the trappings of faith is all I need, or do I have the heart of a Christian?  Sometimes we have to detach ourselves from our preconceived notions of what it means to follow God, to learn to hear His voice and follow Him.

I think I begin to understand how the faith can be dead without works but how works can not save us.  We get so caught up in the motions of faith.  We think that because we fast or pray or attend meetings that we more holy then those who don't do what we do, when it is our hearts we need to change.  If our actions don't flow from our hearts our actions will be hollow.  If they flow from our hearts we will do all those things and more.

I need to detach myself from my idea of myself and go with God, with no preconceived ideas only a wish do His will.  Pray for me.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Detachment 1

What is detachment?  The easy answer is to say not being hung up on things, status symbols.  The hard part is detachment from ourselves.  Not just from preferring my own ideas over others (is blue really the best color to paint the living room) but detachment from the results of what we do.  To not work for recognition, to not want to see the actual results of the good we do is detachment.  We judge our actions on the results we see but God sees the actual results, the things we will never see until we are in heaven.

I can not live my life in such a way as to look like the ideal Christian in my own mind.  What kind of a Christian I am depends on how closely I follow Gods will and not how much people think I am a saint.  I might look like a failure to them but what matters is what God sees.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

The Wall of my Sin

What is sin and what does it do?  I feel my sin as a wall, however thin, that I put up between myself and the Beloved.  I don't mean to put it there but it is there still the same.  At times I think that I am the one who continues to hold that wall there even He has forgiven me?

What is this wall?  It is a wall I put up to protect my selfishness.  Behind this wall my actions are all directed towards myself without a thought of how they effect others.  My sin hurts myself, others, and God no matter how much I try to deny that.

But God tears down that wall, even if I build it up again.  Behind the wall I can't see my faults but I still know they are there and hate them.  But the Beloved tears down my wall and floods my soul with light.  I see my faults but I also see that those faults just draw me to others.  They are there so that I need others and I need God.  Perfection would mean I didn't need God or anyone else and would be left with only myself.  Perceived perfection or the need for perfection divides me from God and others and leaves me alone to knaw on myself.  So I thank God for those imperfections.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Morning Prayer to start the day

My King, my Love, my Joy!  Swell my heart, Beloved with You Love.  You are love, my King.  You are all peace and all contentment.  You hold me fast to you bussom, I am under Your care.  You my Master, my Teacher give me all I need.  Oh how well cared for is you daughter.  I doubt at times and worry but you take care of me anyway.  I am a fool at times, but still You love me.  Help me Oh Lord to carry that love out in to the world.  Give me an open and loving heart.  Grant me the right vision to see You in all I meet today.  Take me in You hand and fashion me as the instrument of You peace.  You have given us a wise leader, open my mind so that I may see how to fulfill what he asked of us.  How can I personally help the poor and the weak?  What can I give up for them?  How can I do what is needed to be on Your right hand side?

Monday, June 10, 2013

Rugged Individualism is not Christian

We all need community.  God made us this way.  My weaknesses are not my neighbors weakness so we compliment each other.   As we are being built into the body of Christ my neighbor strengthens me and I him.  God made us this way.  It binds us together, or it should at least.  I know I often fail at this point.  I see my weaknesses and then not seeing them in my neighbor I wonder what is wrong with me.  My neighbor can organize, why can't I?  Because God wants me to form community with my neighbor so I can bring my strengths to my neighbor.

We start out our lives utterly dependent on our parents, family, and community.  We get our basic care and learning from our parents.  We get more of that from our families.  Most of us got our learning and catechism from our community.  All of that creates a dept that is repaid by us in doing the same.  We come from community.

If God made us this way then we will be our best and happiest in community.  It might be painful at first, Sort of like pulling off a bandaid, but then we will heal.  If we see our weaknesses and the weakness of others as an opportunity to grow in community then we don't have to hate our weaknesses.  If we lean on our neighbor then our neighbor will strengthen us just as we do them.

I am continually amazed at how God knows us and loves us.  He knows what I need.  Today my idea was not to write but just to meditate silently in His presence.  The morning I read a daily email that has an excerpt from the catechism and it was on rugged individualism, then I read two small meditations from Thomas Merton.  The first one talked about the fruits of meditation and prayer helping us endure trials and learn to know ourselves better.  The second talked about not existing for ourselves and living for others.  At times God whispers in your ear and other times He yells.  This morning He yelled.  I need to learn that my imperfections are made whole in others and theirs in me.  We hold each other up as we are built into the body of Christ.  I don't have to be perfect.

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Struggling to know and do Gods will in all things

I think one of the hardest things for me is to seek Gods will in everything I do.  I am not talking about doing something that is bad or immoral, I am talking about something that is fundamentally good.  Something can be good and moral and not be Gods will for me.  I know that what God wills for me is what is best for me and that what I will for myself outside of Gods will may not be evil but isn't the best for me.

How do I know what is really Gods will and not just my wishful thinking?  So far all I can say is prayer.  I pray to Him to show me and then trust in Him that He will.  Sometimes I think that what He wills me to do is to struggle and that I learn from the struggle.

Not living life blindly going from one perceived pleasure to another is a truly better way to live.  To know that even when I do blunder God will make the best of it for me means that I don't have to live my life in fear of messing it up.  If I do mess it up He will guide me back and help me to learn what I need to learn and give me joy again.

Still, it's hard.  Is what I want today really what is best for me?  If its a struggle is that because it isn't Gods will or is it a struggle because it is Gods will that I struggle and learn?  No matter which, I know that he loves me.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Help me Oh Lord to live each day as a Martyr

I have often thought that I could make the grand gesture of dying for my faith if called upon to.  I could give my life for God, but could I give my good opinion for God?  Am I willing to look foolish for God?  To do or not do what others think is not just right but smart?

How hard is it to be a martyr?  If we believe we will go to heaven and be acclaimed as saints which is harder, to live our lives in God everyday or to give up our lives for God all at once?  Frankly, I doubt that we would ever be asked to do the second one if we didn't do the first one.  The world looks at us like we are fools and even calls us fools to our faces because we don't live our lives like all we have is this life.  But even if this life was all there was I would rather live it in the love of God than in emptiness.

A life lived only for myself and my own pleasure would not be a life at all.  It would be too small.  I want to live my life in love.  To live a life in love is to live my life in the Beloved.  To live my life in Him is to die in Him, everyday, every moment.  Luckily because He is love, when I fail to live in love, He is all mercy.

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Prayer for an Open and Purified Heart

Oh my Lord, save me from myself.  Purify my heart from prejudice, sweep clean my mind from preconceived ideas.  Make my faith one that is alive with the logos of each new situation and person I meet.  Help me to see the new word You spoke in each person I meet.  Open my heart and my mind to all that is You.

Oh my Lord!  Thank You for today!  Thank you for the beautiful world that greeted me.  Thank You for the beautiful songs of praise I hear from the birds and rest of Your creation.  Your wind caresses me and brings to me Your perfume from the morning flowers.  Oh my King!  Teach me to see You in all of Your creation.  Open my heart to all my brothers and sisters and let me speak of You to them.  Let me speak to them the sweet words You spoke in my heart that set it free.  Make me Your instrument and play upon me a beautiful song to call them home.