Friday, December 18, 2015

Sitting at the Feet of Christ

Here I sit at the foot of Christ, what do I see?  The world looks different from down here.  I am low and prostrate.  All others tower over me.  When I look at the world, I see it but always with cross in view.  Sitting here I am so close to my Beloved that I can kiss His feet.  His poor, bloody dusty feet.  As I look at the world from this vantage point I both see just how much He loves me and recognize I put Him there.  The blood from His wounds colors my vision.  I should see the world throughHis sacrificial love.  How can I say no while I see His yes?  How can I hate as I look past ultimate love?what do you see, sitting at the foot of the cross?

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

The Divine Spark Within

If I believe that God dwells in those around me, then I must believe that God dwells in me as well. I look for the divine in people and see it daily but I don't even look for it in myself.  I know my sins, I know the selfishness and cruelty in me.  I know I am jealous and impatient, but still it must be there.

If I sin and still believe the divine spark to be in me then it must be that way for everyone.  Sinners have God within them and the Godly have sin.  We are all this crazy mix of sin and divinity.  At times I think the Godly are those who know this and accept it while the sinner steadfastly refuses to believe either that they sin or that they have the divine spark.  Maybe this is our journey, to accept who we are and so not be as ruled by sin.  If we aacept this in ourselves then we can accept and love others.

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Seeing Christ in Everyone, yes Everyone

I try really hard to see Christ in those around me and those who aren't.  I must admit it is pretty easy to love those who love me and to see Christ in those I like or understand.  I can even love the enemy far away, but loving the person who doesnt think like I do but who is close is impossible for me by myself.  I am going to need Gods help with that.

I have met a person whose ideas on God are so alien to my own.  He uses God as a club to beat others over the head.  He isn't the kind of person I would choose to be near or to talk to and that is wrong.  I prefer to talk to those who agree with me because that is comfortable, but he is the one I need to talk to.  He needs to see and understand the God of Love I know.  I need to pray for him.  God keeps throwing him in my path and I keep skirting him.  I need to stop that.  I tell others you know it is the will of God when it truly isn't your will, all else is suspect.

Friday, December 11, 2015

Discouraged

Tonight I am discouraged by those around me who call themselves followers of Christ but who allow their fear of others to lure them into hate and to dehumanize others while calling themselves Prolife.  How can I look at another person and say they are excluded from Gods love while I know what is in my own heart?

I am so tired of all the outrageous partisan things people are saying.  Have we all lost our minds?  Each and everyone of us is a child of God.  Even if I don't like someone and what they believe, if I lie and say things that are not true or exaggerated about them I am committing a sin and making my Beloved sad.  I must make truth, real truth, no matter how scary or painful my goal.

If I believe in God, in heaven, I should never be afraid to be as loving as He was.  He gave Himself for me, I have to be willing to do the same.  Sort of the opposite of the jihadist, willing to die in love, not willing to take another life, to love, truly love them.  To allow God to lead me in His love where He will.

Thursday, December 10, 2015

Courageous Love

More and more I find myself called to a life of love.  Simply that.  To live every moment of my life as a conduit of the love of God.  I fall short of this ideal so many times in a single day I lose count.  Prayer is what I need, for myself so I can be changed into the image of the Beloved, for others, especially those around the world and here at home who advocate hate or fear.

We believe in God, we believe in Heaven, what do we fear other than change?  If we were already a nation built on Christian beliefs we would be a nation of radical love not a nation of selfishness and the world would be transformed.  We are not that nation, but we can get there with God.

Pray more than ever for our world.  If you don't pray start, if you do pray double the prayers you pray.  Be careful who you pray to, if your prayers are full of mistrust and hate you may not be praying to the Beloved.

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

What to I have the Courage to do for Christ

Would I even have the courage to die as a martyr for Christ?  Would I have the courage to suffer for Christ in a real and tangible way?  Do I have courage lose my home and incur ridicule for the Beloved?

 When I talk of being a martyr I am not talking about the kind of false martyrs we see today in the news who kill others.  I am talking about stepping out of my normal life in love and not worrying about my physical life.  The funny thing I might be willing to do that in an instant to save the life of someone else but the part where I lose things like my home and am ridiculed is harder for me.  Sustaining suffering for what I believe in is to me more noble than the instant sacrifice.  The long suffering for love that leads to sacrifice knowing no one will hold you up as a herois impossible without God for me.

Monday, December 7, 2015

Leaving Room for the Holy Spirit

For me, this is the best time of the day.  I try to turn down my inner voice and listen to the Holy Spirit.  If I am lucky whole thoughts will come to me unbidden and unplanned.  At other times a thought comes knocking on my skull and I have to sit down and write it out.  Quiet time is the way I prefer to start my day.  I end my day in structured prayer, reciting the Rosary or Devine Mercy.  Even then as I drift off if I am lucky again the Holy Spirit takes over and guides my dreams.  Making time and room in my life for Holy Spirit is a gift I give myself.  Without my life would hectic and full of worries.  Instead my day starts and ends in peace making the rest of the day blessed.

Friday, December 4, 2015

Where is God Leading me?

Advent is a journeying time.  We move from Ordinary time in to a time that is very focused on the coming of the infant Jesus into our lives.  It may not be a physical journey but it is a spiritual journey.  I think at times it is a journey that we actively persue a goal, getting read for the Christmas we want.  We prepare our hearts, say more prayers, go to daily Mass more often, that kind of thing

I think though if we let go and we simply sit still in the darkness and listen God will lead us on the journey He wants us to go on.  The way will simply open up for us, all we have to do is go.  It takes courage and humility to go on Gods path.  It usually isn't where we ever thought we wanted to go.  It isn't as showy and you may get many fewer public acknowledgements for it.  It may be something you didn't think you could do.

Luckily God is there to guide you and to give you the energy to do it.  He doesnt abandon us.  You may never know the fruits of your actions until the day you die.  But trust in God, the journey is a lot more exciting.

Thursday, December 3, 2015

Chasing that Feeling

Sometimes I feel like I am chasing that feeling I had at the beginning when I first came to know God.  That feeling that He was so close at all times and I was filled with His love.  I literally lived in that love and the rest of the world had no meaning for me.

When I think back on it now it was a very selfish time in my life.  I prayed to get the good feelings and I felt that everyone was looking at me and could see how holy I was getting!  How silly I was.  I thought I was there but really these were just the first baby steps of my journey.  God was holding me up because I couldn't walk on my own.  I hadn't been sent on mission yet.

My relationship to God is different now.  It isn't chasing the next good feeling.  It is participating in a relationship.  I am more secure in my love for God.  I know He will never abandon me but I was a fraud I would abandon Him.  I don't worry about that now.  I guess it is the difference between falling in love with someone and loving someone.

To be honest, I do still miss those feelings

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Accepting God's Love

How often do I reject God's love for me or refuse to see what He has done for me?  Everyday.  I am so afraid that if I let Him fill me up that I would , I don't know what.  He does so much for me,and he can do exactly what I ask for in prayer, but it isn't how I imagined it, I don't recognize it as His gift to me.  I expect to not get what I want, even if I only ask for what I need.  Luckily God doesn't do what we expect.

I nene to relax and except that the God of the universe loves me and wants me to be filled with His love and with His light.  Maybe that is the journey I am on this Advent.  Advent is our journey into accepting Christ coming into our lives.  He comes to us literally as the child Jesus and into our hearts if we let Him.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Saying Yes to God

Mary said yes to God as did the Apostles.  Saying yes to God leads to an extraordinary life.  Want adventure?  Want a challenge?  Say yes to God, He will lead you to places you never imagined.he will put you with people you didn't think you would like that you will come to love.  He have you do things you didn't think we're possible.  All you have to do is say yes and to go where He leads you.  It may be a different country or a different part of town.  He may lead you to convert strangers or your own family.  It may be a life of hard labor or a life of hard prayer. Say yes, and start your adventure.