Lord, teach me to be Generous

I truly believe that God can turn tragedy into victory.  I wonder how many people have been introduced to this beautiful prayer after our beloved Sisters of Charity were martyred?  How many of us have been challenged in the following days by the words the Sisters prayed daily?  I know I have.  I pledge to add this prayer to my daily prayers in part, in their honor and in part because I need it.

I am not generous by the standards of this prayer.  I count the cost, feel the wounds (if I had any), and I want to be recognized for even the smallest thing I do.  I am not generous, but I do believe that we are transformed by prayer, and I want to be generous.

Think of the number of people who will be transformed by the death of our Sisters, there is the victory.

Lord, teach me to be generous.
Teach me to serve you as you deserve;
to give and not to count the cost,
to fight and not to heed the wounds,
to toil and not to seek for rest,
to labor and not to ask for reward,
save that of knowing that I do your will.

The Trap

I am a hypocrit, if given the choice I would in the secret of my heart want to be acclaimed for even the smallest thing I do.  I want people to think we'll of me and this sin holds me back from doing the things that God wants me to do.  I am afraid that if I were called on to do something in the way of civil disobedience that I am too afraid to do something that while right might cost me esteem or my job.

I look back and I wonder, could I have been part of the French Underground, could I have part of the Underground Railroad?  Could I really give all for God?  Could I toil for Him in secret, risking all for no acclaim?  By myself as I am, no.  God will have to transform my heart and make it more like His.  I am weak and selfish, He gave all for me.

Sin holds me back, that is what sin does, it keeps us from being free.

Martyrs to Indifference

I sit here in front of the Blesses Sacrament and contemplate Pope Francis's words "martyrs of indifference".  The Beloved was also a martyr of indifference.  We was murdered for convenience.  People didn't want to change their lives, they wanted Him to quit disturbing their peace.  When I think of Him I also see the little Syrian boy who washed up on the beach, the people living in the camps.

This is our chance to feed our Lord, to give Him drink, to give Him shelter.  Imagine yourself standing before our Almighty Judge and Him asking you why didn't you help Him?  What will you say?  It wasn't my concern?  Of the hundreds of thousands who needed my help a few might want to kill us?  They were different than me?  Not the same religion as me,not the same color as me?  What will you tell Jesus?  What will I tell Him?

Complicit by Inaction

I heard a story recently about how Otto Frank tried to get visas to come to the US for his family but was denied because in 1924 the US changed its immigration policy due to the modern eugenics movement to limit the number of Jews coming into the US.  This is the same movement that inspired the Nazis.  So while the Nazis did the actual murder, the US was also complicit.

Our actions and policies here in the US have effects on people all over the world and we have to consider those effects.  Our inaction can also have the same effect.  It is hard to care day after day or even look at all the bombings in the Middle East, there are so many.  It is scary to invite them into our country on the chance that one single crazy will come to add to the ones we already have.  But to do so means we are responsible for the results of the actions we take or don't take.

It is overwhelming, what can I do?  First, I can pray.  Have I said a novena for Boko Haram or ISIS?  Have I prayed for the refugees?  Have I donated to causes to help them?  Have I voted for those who would help them?  Or am I scared and acting out of fear and hatred?

Defending what we Possess

St Francis fought owning anything because any thing he and the brothers owned would have to be defended.  In our daily lives we defend the things we own everyday.  We own our jobs so we defend them by being afraid of immigrants and foreigners who we fear will take our jobs.  We own our lives and so we fear those who might threaten it.  We own our ideas of ourselves and fear and hate those who challenge us.

We don't just possess things.  We possess, or try to possess nearly everything we see or think of for that matter.  Being spiritually poor is much harder than not buying a fancy car or expensive clothes.  Being spiritually also means not owning our idea of ourselves.  We give that to God, who really owns it anyway.  By doing this we are free.  We are free to love as God commands us to.  We are to change in the ways He wants us to.  We are free to die in the way He needs us to.

For me it is easy to give away the physical things I no longer need.  It is harder to give up anything else.  I need all of your prayers to become what God wants me to be.  If you pray for me I will pray for you.  I will remember all who read this in my daily prayer.

Reading what I need to Hear

during Lent every morning I am reading a meditation based on the Gospel for the day and everyday it is something that strikes me to the heart.  Today it is on peace and humility.  It said if we have peace and humility in our hearts then we have neither anger nor annoyance.

Work is very challenging at the moment and I obviously have neither peace nor humility because I am struggling with anger and annoyance.  I was trying to deal with the stress at work by not doing my morning meditations and cutting short even my morning prayer.  I know now that is not the right way to deal with stress because it has just gotten worse.  Imagine deciding to deal with stress by pulling away from God!  How silly of me.  God is who I need to take the stress to.  Being filled with peace and humility instead of anger and annoyance will lower the stress level for me and my coworkers.

Thank you Lord for reminding me to come to You and Your Gospel for comfort and wisdom.  You who are comfort and wisdom, lead me today, fill me with Your peace.  Grant me Oh Lord the grace I need to carry your peace and wisdom into the world.  Remind me, as You always do, to come to You when I need help.  Amen!

Hoarding Time

Today the text I was meditating on was about the Holy Poverty of the brothers of St Francis.  How they gave all for each other, not just money or things.  It got me thinking about Time.  Time is the thing I hoard.  It is obviously the thing I hold most dear.  I hate to give it up.

For Lent I give up things like sweets, but if that isn't what I value most and hate the most to give up then that's not what I should give up.  I need to give more of my time, and not just at Lent.  I need to be more generous with my time with my family and friends.  I need to hold it less dear.