Devine Mercy, more than a prayer

Today is Devine Mercy Sunday.  Hopefully, we have all prayed the Devine Mercy Chaplet at least once this week to remind us of the mercy shown us by God.  However, simply praying the prayer is not enough, we have to live that prayer as well.  That is what prayer can do.  We have prayed for Gods mercy on ourselves because we are fallible beings in need of great mercy.  Because he gives us this mercy we should not be like the servant who when shown mercy has none for his fellow servant, we must give that mercy away and be merciful too!   We have to be both physically and spiritual givers of mercy.  We have to forgive not just with our words but our actions.  God pours love and mercy out on us, we are called to do the same, everyday, in our families, at work, to our neighbors, and to the entire world.  We must be mercy itself.

The Single Vocation

I had an interesting thing happen when I was looking for information on the single vocation.  I ran into an article that basically said if you are not in a vowed vocation you are nothing.  It really hurt me to think that someone wouldn't value all the single people in our church who live their life for the church.  They carry out necessary functions that in the past would have been handled by the nuns or brothers assigned to a parish or another priest.  Today we have so many parishes with one priest or sharing a priest with another parish.

I have found that many priests either actively discourage or don't know about private vows so many of these people might not even know this is an option.  To tell them they have to be a priest, religious or married is an act of cruelty.  I do feel that you can't be half in half out your whole life.  If you are committed to God, with a vow or not, you have to be truly committed.  But if you are living your commitment then that should be honored.  Like other commitments it requires discernment, formation, and spiritual advice from your priest.

Reflections on a Meadow

When I look out into our beautiful chaotic world, I see order there.  It isn't the order imposed by man, it is a deeper order.  If anything the small order man tries to impose makes the world more chaotic and more ugly.  Look at a meadow, how it all works together.  It isn't a jumble of plants, it is an ecosystem that lives in harmony without our influence.  It is vibrant and full of life, everything interdependent on each other.  Life, death, and rebirth.  An animals droppings become the fertilizer for the seed eaten.  That grows into a tree that provides shelter and more seeds to those around it.  Then the death of the tree creates homes and fertilizes the soil.  I see God in that.

When I look at a garden I see our attempt at imitating God.  We impose our limited view of order.  We fail in that we only choose what is pleasing to us. We don't understand His creation fully so our garden needs our constant meddling.  Why aren't we happy with the world the way God made it?  Why do we think we know better?  We struggle against the Love he asks us to show each other as though my love for you will somehow diminish me.  We fear that God will as us to do something that others will laugh at, we think we are afraid of failure but I think that we are afraid more of looking like a fool.  St Francis was Gods fool.  I can't think of a better thing to be.

He Is Risen

Today I start a new journey.  For the next year I will try to discern what Gods me to do.  He is my Beloved and He gave Himself for me, I need to seriously consider what He is calling me to.  Am I to be His bride, or is He calling me to make a family with someone else?

I don't know the answer right now.  I do know that no matter what the answer is He is still to be the main focus of my life.  I am at a cross roads in ministry now too.  Other people are helping with the Youth Ministry so that isn't as much of a burden.  I am open to Christ and willing to take on whatever he puts in my path.  I know certain things call to me, especially working with the homeless, but in the past God has always given me something else to do.  We will see what His will is.

Gods Plans, not our Plans

My plan today was to get to the church an hour early so I could prepare for Good Friday.  I walked in the door and someone had tracked mud down the center isle of the church so instead of immediately going to prayer, I cleaned the carpet.  Why, because I saw it and it needed to be done.  That's the way life with Christ is.  You want to do something lofty and admirable but Chrit wants you to fill a need on your hands and knees.  Something humiliating or really humbling.  His plan, not yours.

The reward is the quiet time after gazing at Him and He at you.  We pray today in the Stations of the Cross "and do with me as You will", but do we mean it?  What if your family wants you to marry and have kids but God wants you to be a priest?  What if you want a simple life without any demands on your time but God wants you to be Youth Minister?  We can't say, then do with me as You will and then do our own will.  Of course it is easy to say so and so should really be doing more, she's retired, or you need to help the poor more, or why can't he do it?  It doesn't work that way.

What Love looks Like

So this is love, this is what it looks like.  Love isn't like what you see in romantic comedy.  It is all easy passionate desire.  It is pain and sacrifice.  If we really love Him we should be willing to at least put up with the discomfort of getting up early to pray or not having as much TV time or Facebook time as we want.  He did this for us, what are we willing to do for Him?

When the Bible talks about the faithful being held in safety, they don't mean from physical harm, but from spiritual harm.  Our bodies may not be held safe but our souls will and isn't that the goal?  We are told that if we hold on to our lives here then we will lose our lives in heaven.

This is what real love does, it makes us brave.  Loving Christ opens our hearts to even more love for rest of humanity.  That love makes us even more brave.  That leads to the cross, but it is a beautiful cross, Christ kisses the cross, it is what He desires.  Our cross, through love, can be made beautiful, but we have to embrace it and kiss it, and carry it willingly.

The Bridegroom waits

Sitting here in front of the tabernacle I am reminded of how I used to feel when I was consecrated to the Lord.  Three times I took temporary vows and on those days I felt so beloved and protected.  I could go anywhere and have no fear.  I was the Lord's and no one could take me from Him.

On Holy Thursday and Good Friday I would sit and contemplate the Bridegroom, my Bridegroom and I was His lowly imperfect little bride.  I was protected concealed in the wound in His side.  I gave myself to Him, I was His.  I felt so loved, it thrilled me.   Ecstacy would wash over me, and all the world would fade away, except for Him.

I turned away from Him.  I didn't go through with my final vows.  Since then I haven't felt as close to Him, and I haven't been as brave.  I want to go back to that.  I will contemplate amend pray for the next year to dicern if that is the right path for me, it permanent consecration is the path He has chosen for me, but in the meantime I give myself to God.  I am His and he is my Lord, My Savior, my King, my Ruler, my Beloved.  I will not leave Him again.