Am I a Christian?

  What does it mean to be a Christian?  Does it mean someone who reads the Bible or someone who lives it?  Of course it has to be both, you can't just live it you have to know what it says but you can't just read it either, it has to be lived.  If we know all it says and that has no impact on our lives what good is the "Good Book"?

  I need to ask myself every day have I lived the teachings of Jesus Christ fully today?  Every day my answer will be no, in some way today I took the easy way out.  Today I was cruel or lazy or worse, indifferent.  I know I will never get it right, I will never give myself as perfectly as He did.  I may make some grand gesture but even then my reasons for doing it wont be pure, or secretly I will be hoping the person I offer it to will decline my offer.

  On the face of it I do a better job of living the Gospel then I do in my heart.  In my heart I want to be seen as being a great Christian, someone other people admire.  I want people to see what I do.  I want people to be impressed with the books I have read the speakers I have listened to.  I want to be seen praying by those who would think better of me for it and not by those who would find it weird.