Love

God loves me and that has all kinds of implications for my life.  God doesn't just love the me He thinks He knows, He loves the me that even I don't know.  He truly loves me and He loves everyone. If someone loves you like that you naturally love them and try to please them.  If I could love as the Beloved loves I would love all He created with the same love He has for them, but my love, like my knowledge of myself is hindered by sin.

Even so, I should let His love fill me to over flowing so I can in a small way, love all His creation.  I am afraid to let His love fill me.  His love is a light and I am afraid to look at myself and truly know myself.  The sins I commit knowingly and through my actions are bad enough but the sins I commit by not doing, not seeing, not hearing, not caring, are easy for me to over look and so remain in the shadows.  Am I so fragile?  Why do I hold on to resentments, hatred, prejudice, do I think they make me strong?  I think to let go of these things I would have to recognize I have them in the first place.

Maybe if I let His love fill me from end to end I would be more bold.  I have felt His all pervading love before.  It was sublime and painful.  Afterwards I wondered why it didn't stay, why He withdrew, but now I think I was the one who couldn't stand it and so pulled away.  Opening up to love takes courage, I think.  If I open myself to His love and let it pour through me to others, I have to open myself up to others, and to myself.