Being ProLife to me means respect for life at all times. It means respect for people and their persons. I can not destroy the body of a person in my womb because I have to respect that persons right to their own body. The right I have to control my body is superseded by that persons rights, I won't die if I have to give them room for a while.
In the same way though I have the right to my own body, meaning I have the right, within reason, to control who touches and who does not touch my body. Sexual assault and rape violate my person and therefore in my mind are not ProLife.
I know this is contrary to what most people who believe abortion is a right. They think we don't believe in a persons right to their body but that is so wrong. That right is so inviolate that it means I can't kill someone else out of convenience. It also means that I don't have to allow someone else to control my body by sexual assult
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Monday, August 19, 2013
Only God knows
I have a very bad habit of assuming that no one will like me. So I don't let people in, especially those whom I like. I hide myself from them and turn myself inside out to become some sham version of the person I think they want me to be. So, they don't ever get to know the real me and relationship stays shallow because I won't let them in. The funny thing is that when they get tired of trying to get to know me and leave, I assume it's because they caught a narrow glimpse of me and rejected me.
But, God knows me, and He loves me. Horribly imperfect as I am, He loves me. To Him i am not too wrong for words. To Him I am beautiful and unique. He made me and He has a plan for my life. That plan includes all the mistakes I've made, he can use those mistakes. I am not too broken, He is the Potter, I am His clay. I am His work, the one who made the stars, made me, and you for that matter. How can I look at the beauty of His creation and not know that I too am beautiful and special? If He made the mountains, the sky, flowers, and zebras, He made me. Even more amazing He made me in His likeness, and He is all beauty.
If I truly believe this I have to carry this out into the world with me. If God can love me then other people can love me if I let them. I have to give them a chance to see me. I begin to think that if I let them see me, then I will see them too, and seeHim in them.
But, God knows me, and He loves me. Horribly imperfect as I am, He loves me. To Him i am not too wrong for words. To Him I am beautiful and unique. He made me and He has a plan for my life. That plan includes all the mistakes I've made, he can use those mistakes. I am not too broken, He is the Potter, I am His clay. I am His work, the one who made the stars, made me, and you for that matter. How can I look at the beauty of His creation and not know that I too am beautiful and special? If He made the mountains, the sky, flowers, and zebras, He made me. Even more amazing He made me in His likeness, and He is all beauty.
If I truly believe this I have to carry this out into the world with me. If God can love me then other people can love me if I let them. I have to give them a chance to see me. I begin to think that if I let them see me, then I will see them too, and seeHim in them.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Detachment 4 - reality
I begin to see that detachment is so hard because it deals strictly with reality and not the fakery stories we tell ourselves are reality. We tell ourselves that this or that will make us happy, or giving up this or that will make us happy, but if you can never be too rich or too thin can either of those things make you happy? We live our lives running after the things that have no real value and so can not make us happy. We get a little more money and power or whatever we pursue and get a little kick that never lasts so we have to chase after more and more of whatever it is we think we lack. Our life becomes the chase.
Detachment is stopping the chase or at least it starts there. We stop running and sit at the feet of the Master and drink in what truly satisfies. But to do this we have to let go of our ideas of ourselves. We don't throw them away we just let them go. We aren't rejecting the idea of being the best whatever or the most we just let go of it and let it drop to the ground.
Detachment is stopping the chase or at least it starts there. We stop running and sit at the feet of the Master and drink in what truly satisfies. But to do this we have to let go of our ideas of ourselves. We don't throw them away we just let them go. We aren't rejecting the idea of being the best whatever or the most we just let go of it and let it drop to the ground.
Monday, July 1, 2013
You don't speak for me - Women's issues?
Who gave the Pro-Abortion side the right to speak for me? I never did. Why is abortion the ONLY thing they consider a woman's right? It isnt a right I want, and by the way a right is not something you just want. I want universal access to education for all people, not the right to end lives because they are inconvenient. I want an end to hunger and homelessness for all people. I want everyone to have the right to freely elect their leaders. These are women's rights because they are human rights. Only when all people have have the same rights will we have a free world. No one has the right to end another life, ever, period. If we lived 100 years ago we might have needed to execute murders to keep others safe but that is no longer the case. Life is the ultimate right. Don't tell me what to think and you have no right to speak for me. I am a woman, and I can speak for myself.
Women should have the right to not fear being raped and to be made to suffer for unwanted pregnancies here and around the world. We need to work for the day when no where in the world would a woman fear to say she had been raped for fear of being killed herself. We need to work for a day when rape is not used as a weapon of war. It needs to be unthinkable to violate any person.
In the past and still in parts of the world a woman pregnant outside of wedlock was doomed. She couldn't marry or work so how could she support herself and her baby? That should never happen. We all make mistakes and things happen that we don't intend. We shouldnt hold that against anyone. We should instead help them. If we had done that from the beginning abortion would never have been thought of. In a way abortion is our fault.
All human rights start from the most basic right, the right to life. If we don't uphold that right then all the others can be taken away. And all rights come from God not our governments. If your rights come from your governement again they can be taken away when the government changes and when popular opinion changes. Popular opinion can not change our rights.
Women should have the right to not fear being raped and to be made to suffer for unwanted pregnancies here and around the world. We need to work for the day when no where in the world would a woman fear to say she had been raped for fear of being killed herself. We need to work for a day when rape is not used as a weapon of war. It needs to be unthinkable to violate any person.
In the past and still in parts of the world a woman pregnant outside of wedlock was doomed. She couldn't marry or work so how could she support herself and her baby? That should never happen. We all make mistakes and things happen that we don't intend. We shouldnt hold that against anyone. We should instead help them. If we had done that from the beginning abortion would never have been thought of. In a way abortion is our fault.
All human rights start from the most basic right, the right to life. If we don't uphold that right then all the others can be taken away. And all rights come from God not our governments. If your rights come from your governement again they can be taken away when the government changes and when popular opinion changes. Popular opinion can not change our rights.
Sunday, June 30, 2013
God is in charge - Detachment 3
This next month I am in charge of doing our ongoing formation for my Secular Franciscan group. Initially I thought of doing the formation on the Eucharist but as I prayed over it I kept coming across things about detachment so I decided to explore that topic for formation. Well, several months ago I signed up for a talk being given by Fr Albert Haasse OFM that was held yesterday and guess what he talked about? Detachment! Before God was whispering to me about detachment, yesterday, he spoke rather loudly and in a New Orleans accent to me about it.
I actually wondered seeing so many of my Franciscan brothers and Sisters were there if I should change my topic. I don't think so. I think it was God telling to go for it and giving me some more input.
One of the ideas that Fr Albert talked about is how detachment and renunciation are not the same thing. Renunciation is cosmetic, or as he called it "lawn mowing". It doesn't get at the root of the problem. You deny yourself what you really feel you need to be happy and so make yourself and those around you miserable. Detachment is a process that gets at the root. It starts with recognizing the thoughts that lead you to the desire for whatever it is. Recognizing the thought and asking yourself what is that all about allows you to begin to detach yourself from the things that hold you back in growing spiritually.
One of the other points I found helpful is the idea that when we are so attached to things and ideas we are insulting God. We aren't trusting Him to take care of us, to provide us with what we need. We are inessiance saying to God that He may have created us and the world we live in but we know what we need and we don't need Him to get it. We think that these things will make us finally happy and we chase them. We get angry with God because He doesn't give them to us when we ask Him for them. Lord, make we popular, make that person desire me, give me success, give me money, but in reality we are asking God to give us a stone, when what He wants to give us is the Living Bread.
I actually wondered seeing so many of my Franciscan brothers and Sisters were there if I should change my topic. I don't think so. I think it was God telling to go for it and giving me some more input.
One of the ideas that Fr Albert talked about is how detachment and renunciation are not the same thing. Renunciation is cosmetic, or as he called it "lawn mowing". It doesn't get at the root of the problem. You deny yourself what you really feel you need to be happy and so make yourself and those around you miserable. Detachment is a process that gets at the root. It starts with recognizing the thoughts that lead you to the desire for whatever it is. Recognizing the thought and asking yourself what is that all about allows you to begin to detach yourself from the things that hold you back in growing spiritually.
One of the other points I found helpful is the idea that when we are so attached to things and ideas we are insulting God. We aren't trusting Him to take care of us, to provide us with what we need. We are inessiance saying to God that He may have created us and the world we live in but we know what we need and we don't need Him to get it. We think that these things will make us finally happy and we chase them. We get angry with God because He doesn't give them to us when we ask Him for them. Lord, make we popular, make that person desire me, give me success, give me money, but in reality we are asking God to give us a stone, when what He wants to give us is the Living Bread.
Friday, June 21, 2013
Detachment 2
Today I heard the results of a survey where the American people say that organized religion is loosing it's influence. The person who conducted the survey saw now as an opportunity for religions to prove what they are and why they should have influence.
I think what he says is true. At a time of "popularity" of religion we often took it for granted that those of us in a church had faith and it was being passed on to our children, but was it? Or was it really just something people did because it was the norm? I think that is the truth of it for most people. They belonged to a faith but it had little to no influence on how they lived and now the new generation is saying to us that won't work.
How does that fit into detachment? We have to detach ourselves from the idea of external trappings. The cross on my neck doesn't make me a Christian, what I believe isn't the whole story either, but how I act. I can't say I believe in the sanctity of life and then not support life from conception to natural death in all I say and do, and not be a liar. If I believe that you can't abort a child but I myself never am open to life, or only open to life on my terms, I am a liar. Do I dress like a Christian do I wear a cross and think that the trappings of faith is all I need, or do I have the heart of a Christian? Sometimes we have to detach ourselves from our preconceived notions of what it means to follow God, to learn to hear His voice and follow Him.
I think I begin to understand how the faith can be dead without works but how works can not save us. We get so caught up in the motions of faith. We think that because we fast or pray or attend meetings that we more holy then those who don't do what we do, when it is our hearts we need to change. If our actions don't flow from our hearts our actions will be hollow. If they flow from our hearts we will do all those things and more.
I need to detach myself from my idea of myself and go with God, with no preconceived ideas only a wish do His will. Pray for me.
I think what he says is true. At a time of "popularity" of religion we often took it for granted that those of us in a church had faith and it was being passed on to our children, but was it? Or was it really just something people did because it was the norm? I think that is the truth of it for most people. They belonged to a faith but it had little to no influence on how they lived and now the new generation is saying to us that won't work.
How does that fit into detachment? We have to detach ourselves from the idea of external trappings. The cross on my neck doesn't make me a Christian, what I believe isn't the whole story either, but how I act. I can't say I believe in the sanctity of life and then not support life from conception to natural death in all I say and do, and not be a liar. If I believe that you can't abort a child but I myself never am open to life, or only open to life on my terms, I am a liar. Do I dress like a Christian do I wear a cross and think that the trappings of faith is all I need, or do I have the heart of a Christian? Sometimes we have to detach ourselves from our preconceived notions of what it means to follow God, to learn to hear His voice and follow Him.
I think I begin to understand how the faith can be dead without works but how works can not save us. We get so caught up in the motions of faith. We think that because we fast or pray or attend meetings that we more holy then those who don't do what we do, when it is our hearts we need to change. If our actions don't flow from our hearts our actions will be hollow. If they flow from our hearts we will do all those things and more.
I need to detach myself from my idea of myself and go with God, with no preconceived ideas only a wish do His will. Pray for me.
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Detachment 1
What is detachment? The easy answer is to say not being hung up on things, status symbols. The hard part is detachment from ourselves. Not just from preferring my own ideas over others (is blue really the best color to paint the living room) but detachment from the results of what we do. To not work for recognition, to not want to see the actual results of the good we do is detachment. We judge our actions on the results we see but God sees the actual results, the things we will never see until we are in heaven.
I can not live my life in such a way as to look like the ideal Christian in my own mind. What kind of a Christian I am depends on how closely I follow Gods will and not how much people think I am a saint. I might look like a failure to them but what matters is what God sees.
I can not live my life in such a way as to look like the ideal Christian in my own mind. What kind of a Christian I am depends on how closely I follow Gods will and not how much people think I am a saint. I might look like a failure to them but what matters is what God sees.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
The Wall of my Sin
What is sin and what does it do? I feel my sin as a wall, however thin, that I put up between myself and the Beloved. I don't mean to put it there but it is there still the same. At times I think that I am the one who continues to hold that wall there even He has forgiven me?
What is this wall? It is a wall I put up to protect my selfishness. Behind this wall my actions are all directed towards myself without a thought of how they effect others. My sin hurts myself, others, and God no matter how much I try to deny that.
But God tears down that wall, even if I build it up again. Behind the wall I can't see my faults but I still know they are there and hate them. But the Beloved tears down my wall and floods my soul with light. I see my faults but I also see that those faults just draw me to others. They are there so that I need others and I need God. Perfection would mean I didn't need God or anyone else and would be left with only myself. Perceived perfection or the need for perfection divides me from God and others and leaves me alone to knaw on myself. So I thank God for those imperfections.
What is this wall? It is a wall I put up to protect my selfishness. Behind this wall my actions are all directed towards myself without a thought of how they effect others. My sin hurts myself, others, and God no matter how much I try to deny that.
But God tears down that wall, even if I build it up again. Behind the wall I can't see my faults but I still know they are there and hate them. But the Beloved tears down my wall and floods my soul with light. I see my faults but I also see that those faults just draw me to others. They are there so that I need others and I need God. Perfection would mean I didn't need God or anyone else and would be left with only myself. Perceived perfection or the need for perfection divides me from God and others and leaves me alone to knaw on myself. So I thank God for those imperfections.
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Morning Prayer to start the day
My King, my Love, my Joy! Swell my heart, Beloved with You Love. You are love, my King. You are all peace and all contentment. You hold me fast to you bussom, I am under Your care. You my Master, my Teacher give me all I need. Oh how well cared for is you daughter. I doubt at times and worry but you take care of me anyway. I am a fool at times, but still You love me. Help me Oh Lord to carry that love out in to the world. Give me an open and loving heart. Grant me the right vision to see You in all I meet today. Take me in You hand and fashion me as the instrument of You peace. You have given us a wise leader, open my mind so that I may see how to fulfill what he asked of us. How can I personally help the poor and the weak? What can I give up for them? How can I do what is needed to be on Your right hand side?
Monday, June 10, 2013
Rugged Individualism is not Christian
We all need community. God made us this way. My weaknesses are not my neighbors weakness so we compliment each other. As we are being built into the body of Christ my neighbor strengthens me and I him. God made us this way. It binds us together, or it should at least. I know I often fail at this point. I see my weaknesses and then not seeing them in my neighbor I wonder what is wrong with me. My neighbor can organize, why can't I? Because God wants me to form community with my neighbor so I can bring my strengths to my neighbor.
We start out our lives utterly dependent on our parents, family, and community. We get our basic care and learning from our parents. We get more of that from our families. Most of us got our learning and catechism from our community. All of that creates a dept that is repaid by us in doing the same. We come from community.
If God made us this way then we will be our best and happiest in community. It might be painful at first, Sort of like pulling off a bandaid, but then we will heal. If we see our weaknesses and the weakness of others as an opportunity to grow in community then we don't have to hate our weaknesses. If we lean on our neighbor then our neighbor will strengthen us just as we do them.
I am continually amazed at how God knows us and loves us. He knows what I need. Today my idea was not to write but just to meditate silently in His presence. The morning I read a daily email that has an excerpt from the catechism and it was on rugged individualism, then I read two small meditations from Thomas Merton. The first one talked about the fruits of meditation and prayer helping us endure trials and learn to know ourselves better. The second talked about not existing for ourselves and living for others. At times God whispers in your ear and other times He yells. This morning He yelled. I need to learn that my imperfections are made whole in others and theirs in me. We hold each other up as we are built into the body of Christ. I don't have to be perfect.
We start out our lives utterly dependent on our parents, family, and community. We get our basic care and learning from our parents. We get more of that from our families. Most of us got our learning and catechism from our community. All of that creates a dept that is repaid by us in doing the same. We come from community.
If God made us this way then we will be our best and happiest in community. It might be painful at first, Sort of like pulling off a bandaid, but then we will heal. If we see our weaknesses and the weakness of others as an opportunity to grow in community then we don't have to hate our weaknesses. If we lean on our neighbor then our neighbor will strengthen us just as we do them.
I am continually amazed at how God knows us and loves us. He knows what I need. Today my idea was not to write but just to meditate silently in His presence. The morning I read a daily email that has an excerpt from the catechism and it was on rugged individualism, then I read two small meditations from Thomas Merton. The first one talked about the fruits of meditation and prayer helping us endure trials and learn to know ourselves better. The second talked about not existing for ourselves and living for others. At times God whispers in your ear and other times He yells. This morning He yelled. I need to learn that my imperfections are made whole in others and theirs in me. We hold each other up as we are built into the body of Christ. I don't have to be perfect.
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Struggling to know and do Gods will in all things
I think one of the hardest things for me is to seek Gods will in everything I do. I am not talking about doing something that is bad or immoral, I am talking about something that is fundamentally good. Something can be good and moral and not be Gods will for me. I know that what God wills for me is what is best for me and that what I will for myself outside of Gods will may not be evil but isn't the best for me.
How do I know what is really Gods will and not just my wishful thinking? So far all I can say is prayer. I pray to Him to show me and then trust in Him that He will. Sometimes I think that what He wills me to do is to struggle and that I learn from the struggle.
Not living life blindly going from one perceived pleasure to another is a truly better way to live. To know that even when I do blunder God will make the best of it for me means that I don't have to live my life in fear of messing it up. If I do mess it up He will guide me back and help me to learn what I need to learn and give me joy again.
Still, it's hard. Is what I want today really what is best for me? If its a struggle is that because it isn't Gods will or is it a struggle because it is Gods will that I struggle and learn? No matter which, I know that he loves me.
How do I know what is really Gods will and not just my wishful thinking? So far all I can say is prayer. I pray to Him to show me and then trust in Him that He will. Sometimes I think that what He wills me to do is to struggle and that I learn from the struggle.
Not living life blindly going from one perceived pleasure to another is a truly better way to live. To know that even when I do blunder God will make the best of it for me means that I don't have to live my life in fear of messing it up. If I do mess it up He will guide me back and help me to learn what I need to learn and give me joy again.
Still, it's hard. Is what I want today really what is best for me? If its a struggle is that because it isn't Gods will or is it a struggle because it is Gods will that I struggle and learn? No matter which, I know that he loves me.
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Help me Oh Lord to live each day as a Martyr
I have often thought that I could make the grand gesture of dying for my faith if called upon to. I could give my life for God, but could I give my good opinion for God? Am I willing to look foolish for God? To do or not do what others think is not just right but smart?
How hard is it to be a martyr? If we believe we will go to heaven and be acclaimed as saints which is harder, to live our lives in God everyday or to give up our lives for God all at once? Frankly, I doubt that we would ever be asked to do the second one if we didn't do the first one. The world looks at us like we are fools and even calls us fools to our faces because we don't live our lives like all we have is this life. But even if this life was all there was I would rather live it in the love of God than in emptiness.
A life lived only for myself and my own pleasure would not be a life at all. It would be too small. I want to live my life in love. To live a life in love is to live my life in the Beloved. To live my life in Him is to die in Him, everyday, every moment. Luckily because He is love, when I fail to live in love, He is all mercy.
How hard is it to be a martyr? If we believe we will go to heaven and be acclaimed as saints which is harder, to live our lives in God everyday or to give up our lives for God all at once? Frankly, I doubt that we would ever be asked to do the second one if we didn't do the first one. The world looks at us like we are fools and even calls us fools to our faces because we don't live our lives like all we have is this life. But even if this life was all there was I would rather live it in the love of God than in emptiness.
A life lived only for myself and my own pleasure would not be a life at all. It would be too small. I want to live my life in love. To live a life in love is to live my life in the Beloved. To live my life in Him is to die in Him, everyday, every moment. Luckily because He is love, when I fail to live in love, He is all mercy.
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Prayer for an Open and Purified Heart
Oh my Lord, save me from myself. Purify my heart from prejudice, sweep clean my mind from preconceived ideas. Make my faith one that is alive with the logos of each new situation and person I meet. Help me to see the new word You spoke in each person I meet. Open my heart and my mind to all that is You.
Oh my Lord! Thank You for today! Thank you for the beautiful world that greeted me. Thank You for the beautiful songs of praise I hear from the birds and rest of Your creation. Your wind caresses me and brings to me Your perfume from the morning flowers. Oh my King! Teach me to see You in all of Your creation. Open my heart to all my brothers and sisters and let me speak of You to them. Let me speak to them the sweet words You spoke in my heart that set it free. Make me Your instrument and play upon me a beautiful song to call them home.
Oh my Lord! Thank You for today! Thank you for the beautiful world that greeted me. Thank You for the beautiful songs of praise I hear from the birds and rest of Your creation. Your wind caresses me and brings to me Your perfume from the morning flowers. Oh my King! Teach me to see You in all of Your creation. Open my heart to all my brothers and sisters and let me speak of You to them. Let me speak to them the sweet words You spoke in my heart that set it free. Make me Your instrument and play upon me a beautiful song to call them home.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Morning Prayer - Reflections on Solitude
Solitude is not the act of being alone. It is being separate interiorly. To be separate does not have to mean not being in the world, but instead it means not being part of the world. When you have interior the interior solitude that is a gift from God you can stand back and truly see the world as it is because you can stand back from it but you can still engage it because you are physically there.
True solitude, when it engages the world, can make a lasting difference. It can bring Gods light into the world. Because it can bring the true light into the world it will draw to itself persecution. The darkness hates and fears the light. The light drives out the darkness, but only in the light can we see and learn who we really are. Only by knowing who we really are can we understand that God loves the true us, not the one that hides our faults in the darkness.
Solitude comes from prayer and communion with God and takes time. Solitude brings a peace and strength to our souls that no one can permanently shift, not even the Devil. In the depth of our solitude we dwell with God.
True solitude, when it engages the world, can make a lasting difference. It can bring Gods light into the world. Because it can bring the true light into the world it will draw to itself persecution. The darkness hates and fears the light. The light drives out the darkness, but only in the light can we see and learn who we really are. Only by knowing who we really are can we understand that God loves the true us, not the one that hides our faults in the darkness.
Solitude comes from prayer and communion with God and takes time. Solitude brings a peace and strength to our souls that no one can permanently shift, not even the Devil. In the depth of our solitude we dwell with God.
Thursday, May 30, 2013
What is Love?
What is Love? More specifically what is the Love that Christ calls us to? To love everyone (not just those who love us or whom we are attracted to) as He loves us. How can we do that?
If the love you are thinking of is the kind of love you feel toward someone you are attracted to that isn't the kind of love we are talking about. That kind of feeling itself isn't always love. What is Love? To love someone is to want what is best for them, to want them to go to heaven. You can be attracted to someone and want to possess them and keep them for yourself. Or you can be attracted to someone and want what isn't best for them. Attraction isn't love.
Love is more of a decision than a feeling. Love isnt that giddy feeling you feel when you are romantically in love with someone. We have to love even those who repulse us and even those who have sinned against us. We love them by praying for them and leading them to reform through our love.
Our love should bear fruit. If it doesn't bear fruit we need to examine what we think is love and root out all pride and judgement. Only by striving to love as Christ loved can we bear fruit. We don't have to do great things, as Mother Teresa says we just have to do small things with great love. Our love should push us to love the poor and to really assist them with not only money but with our our time. We have to love the unlovely, even if that person is ourselves.
Love comes from the truth. It is based in the truth and it has to start with ourselves. We have to truly know ourselves and love ourselves. Not in a self-centered way. We have to truely know ourselves and our faults and know that God loves us to truely love ourselves. We have to love who we are and not some ideal of ourselves. Once we do that in some small measure we can move out of ourselves and love others. We don't have to know and love ourselves perfectly before we love others, but we have to start. When we move out of ourselves we will learn more about ourselves.
I have struggled greatly with loving myself and others. I could see all my faults and I didn't unstand how I could love someone so flawed? How could anyone love someone who was so wrong? Then one day God made it clear to me He loved me. That was so hard to accept. I didn't understand what He was doing. I fell in love with the Beloved slowly. As I came to love Him I came to accept myself. Loving God and accepting myself I have been drawn to accept and now love others. I am working on truly loving myself and all others. I now know that i love imperfect people so as an imperfect person I am also lovable. The one thing I know now, God loves ALL of us and wants us to know and love Him.
If the love you are thinking of is the kind of love you feel toward someone you are attracted to that isn't the kind of love we are talking about. That kind of feeling itself isn't always love. What is Love? To love someone is to want what is best for them, to want them to go to heaven. You can be attracted to someone and want to possess them and keep them for yourself. Or you can be attracted to someone and want what isn't best for them. Attraction isn't love.
Love is more of a decision than a feeling. Love isnt that giddy feeling you feel when you are romantically in love with someone. We have to love even those who repulse us and even those who have sinned against us. We love them by praying for them and leading them to reform through our love.
Our love should bear fruit. If it doesn't bear fruit we need to examine what we think is love and root out all pride and judgement. Only by striving to love as Christ loved can we bear fruit. We don't have to do great things, as Mother Teresa says we just have to do small things with great love. Our love should push us to love the poor and to really assist them with not only money but with our our time. We have to love the unlovely, even if that person is ourselves.
Love comes from the truth. It is based in the truth and it has to start with ourselves. We have to truly know ourselves and love ourselves. Not in a self-centered way. We have to truely know ourselves and our faults and know that God loves us to truely love ourselves. We have to love who we are and not some ideal of ourselves. Once we do that in some small measure we can move out of ourselves and love others. We don't have to know and love ourselves perfectly before we love others, but we have to start. When we move out of ourselves we will learn more about ourselves.
I have struggled greatly with loving myself and others. I could see all my faults and I didn't unstand how I could love someone so flawed? How could anyone love someone who was so wrong? Then one day God made it clear to me He loved me. That was so hard to accept. I didn't understand what He was doing. I fell in love with the Beloved slowly. As I came to love Him I came to accept myself. Loving God and accepting myself I have been drawn to accept and now love others. I am working on truly loving myself and all others. I now know that i love imperfect people so as an imperfect person I am also lovable. The one thing I know now, God loves ALL of us and wants us to know and love Him.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Morning prayer reflection before the Blessed Sacrament
My Lord, my God, my King, my Savior, Beloved, open my heart to You my love. Beloved let me rest my head on your chest and hear Your heartbeat. Keep me close to You enveloped in Your love. Keep your arms secure around me, protect me and guide me. I know that You love me and I love You unreservedly. You are my King, my Joy, my Reason. I fall into Your arms and abandon myself to You and Your will. I give You my life, I am Your servant. I will do You will for I know Your will for me is Your love for me. Blindly I will follow You. I give You all that I am, I am Yours. You my Beloved have taught me to love. Without You my life was empty and hollow. You have filled me with all that is good. You have removed my fears and given me strength. You have healed me. You give me all I need for all I need is You. Let me rest forever in Your arms. Let me do Your will and my joy will be complete.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
What ProLife is and isn't
Over the last week I saw three interesting And disturbing posts on my Facebook page that for me crystallized what it is to be ProLife. The first one pictures from Syria of a group of small children all about 5 years old or less who were victims of the blood shed there. All were dead. The next one was the picture of a beautiful and smiling young girl, a toddler, who has Downs Syndrome. The last one was a meme that asked, "if the infant in the womb was gay would you still fight for its rights"?
For me the first picture was a reminder. In all wars there are innocent victims who need to be protected at all costs. Children have been killed during drone strikes, have I said enough about this? Have I emailed my or called my Congressmen about this enough? No I haven't. I think that pictures like this though very disturbing, need to be seen. We need to know so we can react properly. Being ProLife means standing up for these lives. I know these deaths happened in Syria, what am I going to do? What can I do? First, I can pray. Second, I can call my congressman. Third, I can use social media to bring attention to the issue.
The second picture of the little girl with Downs Syndrome was so beautiful. Her smile made me smile. There were people who objected to seeing the child's picture. They didn't think the parents should post pictures of their child, like everyone else does, because of her condition. They even questioned the parents love for their child. They seemed to say we don't think you should be proud of your child. Most people currently have the tests done to check for Downs Syndrome and abort the children if they have it. We don't want these imperfect children. The funny thing I'd that most of the people who responded who had downs syndrome children called them a blessing or angels. ProLife means accepting ehat the world calls imperfect children and people. We know that she is made in the image and likeness of God so she is perfect.
The third post made the most upset. The meme that asked if we knew that the child in the womb was gay would we protect it's right to life? Wholeheartedly yes. The funny thing is that if there were a test for homosexuality how many of those infants would be aborted by so called progressives? My guess is a lot. In the quest for the perfect child many babies are aborted because they aren't "normal". As Christians we are called to love everyone because they were made by God, even our enemies. Gay people aren't our enemies and we have to love them so we could never abort them.
It's funny how the Pro abortion side tries to portray us as hypocrites. In part because there are some hypocrites in the PrLife movement but we just need to educate both the pro abortion side and the hypocrites that ProLife comes from God and is based in Love for all of Gods creation.
For me the first picture was a reminder. In all wars there are innocent victims who need to be protected at all costs. Children have been killed during drone strikes, have I said enough about this? Have I emailed my or called my Congressmen about this enough? No I haven't. I think that pictures like this though very disturbing, need to be seen. We need to know so we can react properly. Being ProLife means standing up for these lives. I know these deaths happened in Syria, what am I going to do? What can I do? First, I can pray. Second, I can call my congressman. Third, I can use social media to bring attention to the issue.
The second picture of the little girl with Downs Syndrome was so beautiful. Her smile made me smile. There were people who objected to seeing the child's picture. They didn't think the parents should post pictures of their child, like everyone else does, because of her condition. They even questioned the parents love for their child. They seemed to say we don't think you should be proud of your child. Most people currently have the tests done to check for Downs Syndrome and abort the children if they have it. We don't want these imperfect children. The funny thing I'd that most of the people who responded who had downs syndrome children called them a blessing or angels. ProLife means accepting ehat the world calls imperfect children and people. We know that she is made in the image and likeness of God so she is perfect.
The third post made the most upset. The meme that asked if we knew that the child in the womb was gay would we protect it's right to life? Wholeheartedly yes. The funny thing is that if there were a test for homosexuality how many of those infants would be aborted by so called progressives? My guess is a lot. In the quest for the perfect child many babies are aborted because they aren't "normal". As Christians we are called to love everyone because they were made by God, even our enemies. Gay people aren't our enemies and we have to love them so we could never abort them.
It's funny how the Pro abortion side tries to portray us as hypocrites. In part because there are some hypocrites in the PrLife movement but we just need to educate both the pro abortion side and the hypocrites that ProLife comes from God and is based in Love for all of Gods creation.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
The Ultimate Union
The ultimate act of union between two souls is accomplished in prayer to God. That is why marriage takes place during the Mass but is accomplished by the man and the woman as they for God to bless and join their union. The world tells us it is our bodies that must be united. That the sexual union is the most important part of a marriage but if the souls are not united in God, the sexual act loses its meaning and grace.
We see this today in the world. We skip the union of mind heart and soul and jump into sex. The threat to marriage isn't gay marriage. Gay marriage is the result of our wholesale abandoning of marriage as a union of two people to God and the fruits of that union. We lost marriage when it became something that was just between two people for their pleasure and at their pleasure. When marriage became something disposable it lost its true meaning. If marriage is solely for our own pleasure can you blame them for feeling it is their right? Divorce has lead to the demise of marriage and the rise of cohabitation.
People today treat sex like shaking hands, something you do to get to know someone. If you want to get to know someone, pray with them. Invite the God of the universe into your relationship. He knows that person better than they know themselves and He can reveal that to you if you let Him. Sex confuses all that. How can you even get to know yourself when you are exposing yourself at your most vulnerable to someone you don't know. It isn't safe and so you hide parts of you, the physical and emotional you.
Prayer is the true union of two people. Pray to God together and if it is His will He will enter your hearts and draw them together. If you continue to pray together He will strengthen you when times get hard and heal your wounds. If your union is not His will He will show you and lead you where you need to go.
We see this today in the world. We skip the union of mind heart and soul and jump into sex. The threat to marriage isn't gay marriage. Gay marriage is the result of our wholesale abandoning of marriage as a union of two people to God and the fruits of that union. We lost marriage when it became something that was just between two people for their pleasure and at their pleasure. When marriage became something disposable it lost its true meaning. If marriage is solely for our own pleasure can you blame them for feeling it is their right? Divorce has lead to the demise of marriage and the rise of cohabitation.
People today treat sex like shaking hands, something you do to get to know someone. If you want to get to know someone, pray with them. Invite the God of the universe into your relationship. He knows that person better than they know themselves and He can reveal that to you if you let Him. Sex confuses all that. How can you even get to know yourself when you are exposing yourself at your most vulnerable to someone you don't know. It isn't safe and so you hide parts of you, the physical and emotional you.
Prayer is the true union of two people. Pray to God together and if it is His will He will enter your hearts and draw them together. If you continue to pray together He will strengthen you when times get hard and heal your wounds. If your union is not His will He will show you and lead you where you need to go.
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Laying our burdens at God's feet
The last few days I had been really struggling. The boogeyman, so to speak, had come to get me. I was filled with doubt and anxiety. When I feel this way I see myself as unloved and unlovable. Somehow so wrong that No one could love me and anyone who cared for me must have something wrong with them. I get this way from time to time, but infrequently now. Before I came to God I lived this way. I doubted myself and those around me. I was too scared to lift up my head.
But one day, unexpectedly, I enter St Peters in Rome to see the art and instead God spoke to me in heart and let me know He loved me. I trembled and cried. I actually had to back to the hotel and lay down. At first I didn't believe that He could love me. I thought He wanted me and if I was good enough, He might love me. Now I know He loves me, but I forget sometimes when I get caught up in myself.
This morning before Morning Prayer, I offered my Beloved my gift. He asked us to share our burdens with Him, so I layer it at His feet. Immediately I felt lighter but I knew there was more to come. He had something for me. In my prayer He reminded me that because He loved me, I was lovable and that those who love me are not wrong because He loves me. I didn't hear this but I felt it in my heart. God can speak to you if you will listen. He talks to us all the time but we don't take the time to learn to listen. He reminded me that I am safe in His arms and because of that I can go out into the world. I may get hurt but He will be there to help me carry my burden.
The God of the universe loves you. He loves you and wants what is best for you, He wants you to be with Him for all eternity. Even if you have turned away from Him, He is standing there waiting for you. If turn and go back to Him, he will run out to meet you. If you have any burdens he will help you carry them. In fact be like a little child. Hold your arms out and He will lift you up and carry you in His arms.
But one day, unexpectedly, I enter St Peters in Rome to see the art and instead God spoke to me in heart and let me know He loved me. I trembled and cried. I actually had to back to the hotel and lay down. At first I didn't believe that He could love me. I thought He wanted me and if I was good enough, He might love me. Now I know He loves me, but I forget sometimes when I get caught up in myself.
This morning before Morning Prayer, I offered my Beloved my gift. He asked us to share our burdens with Him, so I layer it at His feet. Immediately I felt lighter but I knew there was more to come. He had something for me. In my prayer He reminded me that because He loved me, I was lovable and that those who love me are not wrong because He loves me. I didn't hear this but I felt it in my heart. God can speak to you if you will listen. He talks to us all the time but we don't take the time to learn to listen. He reminded me that I am safe in His arms and because of that I can go out into the world. I may get hurt but He will be there to help me carry my burden.
The God of the universe loves you. He loves you and wants what is best for you, He wants you to be with Him for all eternity. Even if you have turned away from Him, He is standing there waiting for you. If turn and go back to Him, he will run out to meet you. If you have any burdens he will help you carry them. In fact be like a little child. Hold your arms out and He will lift you up and carry you in His arms.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
The Mountain - Part 3
Therese was a little shocked at loosing her clothes and everything else she had brought with here. Not too far a head was a line of brush so her ran over to it and hid. Her fear of being naked was over come by the feeling of being somewhat free, but still somehow contaminated by the city she had left. In the walled city naked flesh was encouraged but was never something innocent. While they were encouraged to be free with their bodies there was always something licentious, never innocent.
Pushing farther in the brush she found a small river or almost a creek. Across the river and down a bit, on the other bank, was a piece of white cloth caught in the reeds. If she could get across she could use that to clothe herself. She plunged into the water. It was cool and swift. As her head came up out of the water she could see that she was about half way across and the cloth was still a bit father down. She felt some how cleaner and lighter than when she entered. Twice more she ducked under the water, it was the only way she knew how to swim, and finally she came up on the other side and within reach of the cloth. She called out to see if anyone was near who might own the cloth. No one answered so she figured the wind may have carried it there. Surely it had been there a while and bleached by the sun because it was so white. She stepped out and dressed herself. Tearing a hole for her head and ripping some off one end for a belt she was able to fashion herself a dress of sorts.
She thought she should be afraid or at least worried seeing she was in a strange country without any food or shelter and without any obvious way to get back to the city, but she wasn't. Therese felt free and oddly lighter. There seemed to be a light wind at her back pushing her on toward the mountain so that was the way she went.
Why was she doing this she thought? Anyone back in the city would thought she was mad. Stark raving insane. Here she was following a whisper and a wind. Maybe if they knew what she was feeling they might not have found it so strange, but really even she found it a bit odd. Who was she? She was no adventurer, frankly no one was in the city. She wasn't brave or particularly smart but somehow she felt compelled to reach that mountain. Somehow she felt that her hearts desire lay there.
As she walked along she realized she wasn't the only living creature outside the walls. She could hear noises and bird songs. None of the sounds were familiar to her but she recognized them as animal sounds. In the city all the animals are in cages so maybe they just sound different when they are free she thought.
Over to her right she noticed a path developing. Not a wide path but definately a path. Therese thought she could even make out human footprints so she thought she must be going the right way. She wondered if the person who left footprints in the old building had come the same way, maybe some of the footprints she could make out belonged to that person.
Therese walked and walked but the mountain didn't seem to be getting bigger. She was getting hungry. She had drank water at the river but she was getting thirsty too. The wind at her back continued to push her along but she thought she smelled something. Faint at first but it got stronger as she walked along. She heard something too. Human sounds she recognized. Then the path split. She could either keep going on the way she was, hungry and thirsty but with the wind at her back or she could go the way it looks like most people went. She could pull aside and see if there was someone there who could help her.
She couldn't really just go on without food and water and maybe she could meet someone who could tell her if she was going the right way. As she turned down the other path she felt the wind leave her back. The soft whisper died away. Now she felt how truly alone she was. She needed now to see if there was someone else down the new trail who could help her.
Pushing farther in the brush she found a small river or almost a creek. Across the river and down a bit, on the other bank, was a piece of white cloth caught in the reeds. If she could get across she could use that to clothe herself. She plunged into the water. It was cool and swift. As her head came up out of the water she could see that she was about half way across and the cloth was still a bit father down. She felt some how cleaner and lighter than when she entered. Twice more she ducked under the water, it was the only way she knew how to swim, and finally she came up on the other side and within reach of the cloth. She called out to see if anyone was near who might own the cloth. No one answered so she figured the wind may have carried it there. Surely it had been there a while and bleached by the sun because it was so white. She stepped out and dressed herself. Tearing a hole for her head and ripping some off one end for a belt she was able to fashion herself a dress of sorts.
She thought she should be afraid or at least worried seeing she was in a strange country without any food or shelter and without any obvious way to get back to the city, but she wasn't. Therese felt free and oddly lighter. There seemed to be a light wind at her back pushing her on toward the mountain so that was the way she went.
Why was she doing this she thought? Anyone back in the city would thought she was mad. Stark raving insane. Here she was following a whisper and a wind. Maybe if they knew what she was feeling they might not have found it so strange, but really even she found it a bit odd. Who was she? She was no adventurer, frankly no one was in the city. She wasn't brave or particularly smart but somehow she felt compelled to reach that mountain. Somehow she felt that her hearts desire lay there.
As she walked along she realized she wasn't the only living creature outside the walls. She could hear noises and bird songs. None of the sounds were familiar to her but she recognized them as animal sounds. In the city all the animals are in cages so maybe they just sound different when they are free she thought.
Over to her right she noticed a path developing. Not a wide path but definately a path. Therese thought she could even make out human footprints so she thought she must be going the right way. She wondered if the person who left footprints in the old building had come the same way, maybe some of the footprints she could make out belonged to that person.
Therese walked and walked but the mountain didn't seem to be getting bigger. She was getting hungry. She had drank water at the river but she was getting thirsty too. The wind at her back continued to push her along but she thought she smelled something. Faint at first but it got stronger as she walked along. She heard something too. Human sounds she recognized. Then the path split. She could either keep going on the way she was, hungry and thirsty but with the wind at her back or she could go the way it looks like most people went. She could pull aside and see if there was someone there who could help her.
She couldn't really just go on without food and water and maybe she could meet someone who could tell her if she was going the right way. As she turned down the other path she felt the wind leave her back. The soft whisper died away. Now she felt how truly alone she was. She needed now to see if there was someone else down the new trail who could help her.
Saturday, April 20, 2013
The Mountain - Part 2
Therese woke up the next morning before anyone else. She ate her breakfast and packed a bag with everything she thought she might need. She brought food and clothes and money for her trip just in case she found a way out of the walled city.
The night before she had told her family what she had seen. Therese described the mountain and the plain and asked her parents if they knew how to get outside. They had just stared at her. Why would she want to leave the city? They had everything anyone would need. Hadn't a new water park just opened? Was there a new store opening every week. They had all that was new and fashionable why would they want to go outside? She asked them about the old building and asked if they had ever been inside. They said no and they were pretty sure it was illegal or at least very unfashional to got in there.
At that point she gave up and went to bed more determined than ever to get out. Leaving the house at dawn she made her way to the wall. She figured that somewhere along the wall was a gate or something and if she just search the whole thing she would find it. The longing in her heart to see the mountain again ached. There was a path that followed pretty close to the wall so she could see the wall as she walked down the path.
Therese walked and walked. By noon she was about a third of the way around. She stopped ate her lunch and watched the passers-by. Where were they all going? As the afternoon went on she walked and looked. Therese never saw so much as crack in the wall. At 2:45 she realized she was getting close to the old building and it's tower. The building was near the wall about a block away. As she approached the building she wanted to look again and she if the light was there still. She went to the back of the building and move the board again and looked inside. It was still there. It must be electic she thought, a lamp or a candle would have gone out. As she placed the board back she thought she saw it flicker.
The was lower now and the shadow cast by the building touched the wall. But it looked different from the other shadows on the wall. Going to investigate Therese saw something that hadn't been there the day before. There was a thin space, the width of the shadow, a hole in the wall. A thin breeze came through, it sounded like whisper. Therese looked at the space. Could she make it? It was very thin but she thought she could just make it.
Therese put her bags down, she could reach them once she got through. She turned side ways a put her leg through. She could just make it. A funny thing happened as she moved her torso through the slit, the wall seemed to grab her. She pushed and pulled and without any luck. She was stuck but she couldn't give up. She could see the plain and smell the fresh air. She was almost there. As she strained and pulled she began to cry. She was close. She could touch the outside of the wall. The wall was about 3 feet thick and the crack must have narrowed as you got to the outside. The bricks that made up the wall grabbed at her clothes tearing them. As she inched her way out she felt them tearing but now more than half her arm was out. She could get a good grip now. She pulled with all her strength and she pulled herself free there was a loud ripping noise. She finally freed herself of the walls grip but as she did her clothes tore. She made it, but she was naked. Therese turned to grab her bag only to find there was no longer a hole in the wall. She was free but she had nothing. No clothes, no food, nothing. She was outside the wall, now what?
The night before she had told her family what she had seen. Therese described the mountain and the plain and asked her parents if they knew how to get outside. They had just stared at her. Why would she want to leave the city? They had everything anyone would need. Hadn't a new water park just opened? Was there a new store opening every week. They had all that was new and fashionable why would they want to go outside? She asked them about the old building and asked if they had ever been inside. They said no and they were pretty sure it was illegal or at least very unfashional to got in there.
At that point she gave up and went to bed more determined than ever to get out. Leaving the house at dawn she made her way to the wall. She figured that somewhere along the wall was a gate or something and if she just search the whole thing she would find it. The longing in her heart to see the mountain again ached. There was a path that followed pretty close to the wall so she could see the wall as she walked down the path.
Therese walked and walked. By noon she was about a third of the way around. She stopped ate her lunch and watched the passers-by. Where were they all going? As the afternoon went on she walked and looked. Therese never saw so much as crack in the wall. At 2:45 she realized she was getting close to the old building and it's tower. The building was near the wall about a block away. As she approached the building she wanted to look again and she if the light was there still. She went to the back of the building and move the board again and looked inside. It was still there. It must be electic she thought, a lamp or a candle would have gone out. As she placed the board back she thought she saw it flicker.
The was lower now and the shadow cast by the building touched the wall. But it looked different from the other shadows on the wall. Going to investigate Therese saw something that hadn't been there the day before. There was a thin space, the width of the shadow, a hole in the wall. A thin breeze came through, it sounded like whisper. Therese looked at the space. Could she make it? It was very thin but she thought she could just make it.
Therese put her bags down, she could reach them once she got through. She turned side ways a put her leg through. She could just make it. A funny thing happened as she moved her torso through the slit, the wall seemed to grab her. She pushed and pulled and without any luck. She was stuck but she couldn't give up. She could see the plain and smell the fresh air. She was almost there. As she strained and pulled she began to cry. She was close. She could touch the outside of the wall. The wall was about 3 feet thick and the crack must have narrowed as you got to the outside. The bricks that made up the wall grabbed at her clothes tearing them. As she inched her way out she felt them tearing but now more than half her arm was out. She could get a good grip now. She pulled with all her strength and she pulled herself free there was a loud ripping noise. She finally freed herself of the walls grip but as she did her clothes tore. She made it, but she was naked. Therese turned to grab her bag only to find there was no longer a hole in the wall. She was free but she had nothing. No clothes, no food, nothing. She was outside the wall, now what?
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Part one - The Mountain
Once upon a time, there lived a young girl. She lived in a very large, very beautiful city. It had everything you could need, plenty of shops, great libraries, all sorts of entertainment. There was a great wall around the city, twice the height of any of the buildings. The wall was there to keep what was outside the wall from coming in some said. Others said there was nothing outside and if there was you wouldn't want to go there anyway. They had everything they needed right there to be happy.
Now this young girl, Theresa, was about 15 years old. She was not like the townspeople she longed to know what was outside the walls. She didn't care if it was beautiful, or scary, or both, she wanted to see it. But how could she? She had stood on the roof of her house on her tip toes and couldn't see. She tried all the trees without any luck.
Her family wasn't very happy with her. "Why can't you be like the other kids your age? Why don't you have a boyfriend and hang out at the shops like your sisters did?". They didn't understand, she didn't want to be different, but it was like something was calling her. Everyone else in their city did the thing that make everyone happy, they said. Everyone else spent their days eating and drinking and shopping. Why couldn't she be just like everyone else?
One day, walking throught the streets, she came upon a building she had never seen before. It was all boarded up. It looked to Therese like no one had beef in the building for years and years. Walking around it, it was made of stone and had very tall windows. It had a tower and that tower had one window at the top. Therese didn't know it was a tower, no other building in town had one, but this one did. She thought to herself " If I could get in there and climb up as high as I could go I would be able to see over the walls".
Therese knew that she could pry one of the boards off a window and get inside. She went home and came back with a hammer. Going to the back of the building she looked for a board to pull off. There was a window at the back that was out of the way and easy to see from the street. Therese pulled on the board and it was loose. It swung on one nail. She took a deep breath and stepped through.
In was dark and cool inside but there was a faint light when her eyes adjusted to the darkness. A pale red light at the other end of large room. She longed to go and see where the light came from but her mission was to climb to the top and look over the wall.
She turned and moved toward the base of the tower. She found a set of stairs and started climbing. Her steps were muffled by the thick layer of dust that covered the treads. As she climbed higher she could see the top of the tower and the little window. Light streamed in the window and there was a slight breeze. Therese could now clearly see the steps and she noticed something. She could just make out footprints. They were covered over with dust but obviously someone else had been here.
Just before she reached the top she closed her eyes and stopped for a moment. What if it was nothing out there? Did she really want to see that? What if there were monsters as some people said? She had see. When she reached the top she kept her eyes closed and turned to face the open window. She held her breath and openned her eyes. In front of her was a beautiful sight. A broad flat, green plain that ended in a magnificent mountain. It had a proud sharp peak and trees grew most of the way up. It was so beautiful it hurt her eyes. She laughed and then started to cry. She thought climbing the tower and seeing what was out there would satisfy her but now she knew she would never rest until she crossed the plain and climbed the mountain. She stayed until the sun started to set and then climbed back down. Therese knew now that she would never be happy behind the walls now. She knew she had to get outside.
As she climbed back out the window, the little red light caught her eye again. She looked and there no footprints leading towards it. How did it stay lit and who put it there? Once outside she forgot the light as her mind raced, how was she going to get outside? If she went home and asked her parents they might lock her up to keep her inside. She knew someone else had seen the mountain, she had seen their footprints. Had they gotten out?
It was getting dark so went home determined equally not to tell anyone what she had seen and to try the next day to get out.
Now this young girl, Theresa, was about 15 years old. She was not like the townspeople she longed to know what was outside the walls. She didn't care if it was beautiful, or scary, or both, she wanted to see it. But how could she? She had stood on the roof of her house on her tip toes and couldn't see. She tried all the trees without any luck.
Her family wasn't very happy with her. "Why can't you be like the other kids your age? Why don't you have a boyfriend and hang out at the shops like your sisters did?". They didn't understand, she didn't want to be different, but it was like something was calling her. Everyone else in their city did the thing that make everyone happy, they said. Everyone else spent their days eating and drinking and shopping. Why couldn't she be just like everyone else?
One day, walking throught the streets, she came upon a building she had never seen before. It was all boarded up. It looked to Therese like no one had beef in the building for years and years. Walking around it, it was made of stone and had very tall windows. It had a tower and that tower had one window at the top. Therese didn't know it was a tower, no other building in town had one, but this one did. She thought to herself " If I could get in there and climb up as high as I could go I would be able to see over the walls".
Therese knew that she could pry one of the boards off a window and get inside. She went home and came back with a hammer. Going to the back of the building she looked for a board to pull off. There was a window at the back that was out of the way and easy to see from the street. Therese pulled on the board and it was loose. It swung on one nail. She took a deep breath and stepped through.
In was dark and cool inside but there was a faint light when her eyes adjusted to the darkness. A pale red light at the other end of large room. She longed to go and see where the light came from but her mission was to climb to the top and look over the wall.
She turned and moved toward the base of the tower. She found a set of stairs and started climbing. Her steps were muffled by the thick layer of dust that covered the treads. As she climbed higher she could see the top of the tower and the little window. Light streamed in the window and there was a slight breeze. Therese could now clearly see the steps and she noticed something. She could just make out footprints. They were covered over with dust but obviously someone else had been here.
Just before she reached the top she closed her eyes and stopped for a moment. What if it was nothing out there? Did she really want to see that? What if there were monsters as some people said? She had see. When she reached the top she kept her eyes closed and turned to face the open window. She held her breath and openned her eyes. In front of her was a beautiful sight. A broad flat, green plain that ended in a magnificent mountain. It had a proud sharp peak and trees grew most of the way up. It was so beautiful it hurt her eyes. She laughed and then started to cry. She thought climbing the tower and seeing what was out there would satisfy her but now she knew she would never rest until she crossed the plain and climbed the mountain. She stayed until the sun started to set and then climbed back down. Therese knew now that she would never be happy behind the walls now. She knew she had to get outside.
As she climbed back out the window, the little red light caught her eye again. She looked and there no footprints leading towards it. How did it stay lit and who put it there? Once outside she forgot the light as her mind raced, how was she going to get outside? If she went home and asked her parents they might lock her up to keep her inside. She knew someone else had seen the mountain, she had seen their footprints. Had they gotten out?
It was getting dark so went home determined equally not to tell anyone what she had seen and to try the next day to get out.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Being ProLife means having Agape Love
I have to start with two definitions. Agape, divine, self sacrificing love for God and mankind and ProLife, supporting the culture of life. What does that mean to me? Those two words are the foundation of faith. Agape love is the kind of love God has for us and is the kind of love we should have for God and one another. To have Agape love means to sacrifice both for God and our fellow man. This kind of love isn't a warm fuzzy feeling but a decision to place others needs higher than ourselves. Because of this I fail at it all the time. We are fallen and so Agape is very hard for us. Jesus came and shows us the ultimate in Agape love.
To be ProLife is to strive for Agape love. To sacrifice for the good of the other. To do so we can't kill one another, for any reason. We have to work for the salvation of all, especially our enemies and those who might want to kill us. You can not be ProLife and blow up abortion clinics. To love with Agape love means to inconvenience yourself in your giving to help others. Which is more important, the higher tier of cable service or feeding the poor and providing medical care to everyone? Doesn't it also mean giving your time. It an be as simple as giving your time to talk to a neighbor who is lonely. Sometimes I think that we find it easier to write a check but God wants us to put ourselves out. He died for us on the Cross we can give up a weekend to help run a food pantry or build a house.
Most infatically to love God and to be ProLife does not mean killing in the name of God. It doesn't even mean being mean in the name of God. Hurting grieving families with signs full of hate speech is not what God calls us to do. It does mean remonstrating those who are going wrong and pointing out what they need to do, but that has to be done with love, not anger.
The problem with our society is we have forgotten love and given up ProLife for what is easy and feels goos at the moment. If we don't respect all life, how can we expect others to respect our lives and the lives of our families? Until we all, become more lovingly ProLife we will continue to suffer from violence.
To be ProLife is to strive for Agape love. To sacrifice for the good of the other. To do so we can't kill one another, for any reason. We have to work for the salvation of all, especially our enemies and those who might want to kill us. You can not be ProLife and blow up abortion clinics. To love with Agape love means to inconvenience yourself in your giving to help others. Which is more important, the higher tier of cable service or feeding the poor and providing medical care to everyone? Doesn't it also mean giving your time. It an be as simple as giving your time to talk to a neighbor who is lonely. Sometimes I think that we find it easier to write a check but God wants us to put ourselves out. He died for us on the Cross we can give up a weekend to help run a food pantry or build a house.
Most infatically to love God and to be ProLife does not mean killing in the name of God. It doesn't even mean being mean in the name of God. Hurting grieving families with signs full of hate speech is not what God calls us to do. It does mean remonstrating those who are going wrong and pointing out what they need to do, but that has to be done with love, not anger.
The problem with our society is we have forgotten love and given up ProLife for what is easy and feels goos at the moment. If we don't respect all life, how can we expect others to respect our lives and the lives of our families? Until we all, become more lovingly ProLife we will continue to suffer from violence.
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Life is the most precious gift - a ramble caused by grief.
How precious is life? If it were not the most precious thing then the Redeemer's sacrifice would not have been so important. This is why destroying life is so wrong, no matter how you destroy it. The funny thing is that this is the same reason why being a martyr is such a great thing. We can give our life away as a great gift but we can't destroy it as if it means nothing.
It is so hard then when someone we love dies. It is their life that is gone and not them. They still are and we hope to see them again when we die. We will see them forever and they won't be in pain, but still death causes grief. Why is that? Is it the loss of what they could have become if they were still alive? Is it only their company we miss? Is it really just that we miss them? If no one misses someone who dies is their life somehow less precious? I don't know other than to say life is so precious that everyone's life is precious.
With life we have the hope of repentance. I often think this is why the death penalty is so wrong. I often wonder why atheists don't value life more than those who have a hope of the afterlife. If you believe that this all there is shouldn't life have the highest value? This maybe why we grieve when someone dies to some extent. We know that they are either destined for heaven or hell at that point. When a great saint dies we often feel that they have gone to their reward and that helps us in our grief.
Life is so precious in fact that even the partial death of causing pain and suffering is wrong. Driving someone to despair is like causing a partial death, and not helping someone in need is like not helping someone who is hurt. ProLife has to mean more than being antiabortion or it is not ProLife. If ProLife means shaming pregnant women or blowing up doctors are we any better than those who kill innocent children? We might actually be worse because we should know better. ProLife means a life of love. Love all,even or especially our enemies. I heard it once said that an enemy is simply someone you need to pray for.
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Waiting in the void - Reflection on Holy Saturday
Imagine what it was like today for disciples. We are lucky, we know what tomorrow brings. We know that He is here with us in the tabernacle, but they didn't know that. To us Easter is great. We have a beautiful Mass, dinner with our families, and chocolate Easter bunnies. But imagine what Easter was for the Apostles. The two days before had been a nightmare culminating with the horrific death their Messiah and friend. We know how much Jesus loved them and when a loved one like that dies and leaves us it creates such a hole in our souls. Imagine then what it's like if you have been walking, talking, and learning the God who is love itself, the hole would be a chasm. Imagine the fear and doubt, what will happen next? And then you remember Lazarus and some of the other things Christ said. Didn't he say something about dying, and whatHe said about the Temple. Peter remembers what Christ told him during the Last Supper and gathers them all to wait.
How sad and frightened they must be. They have Mary with them and that is a comfort to them. They wait on her and hold her hand, but is calm. She has an inner peace that comforts them as they comfort her. Some can't stay, two have to set out for Emmaus. What will tomorrow bring for them? Imagine you simply had to sit there and wait. You believe still in your heart that Jesus is the Son of God, you have seen Him have power over death, but what happens tomorrow has never happened before. How could you imagine what is about to happen? The fathers of our faith had to wait in faith. They had to believe that Christ wasn't simply a prophet, so they waited to see what would happen.
We know what happened and yet we doubt what God can and is doing in our lives. We don't know what God will ask of us so we too have to sit and wait in faith. But we must be convinced in our hearts that the God who died for us and rose again will lead us home, if we only follow Him.
How sad and frightened they must be. They have Mary with them and that is a comfort to them. They wait on her and hold her hand, but is calm. She has an inner peace that comforts them as they comfort her. Some can't stay, two have to set out for Emmaus. What will tomorrow bring for them? Imagine you simply had to sit there and wait. You believe still in your heart that Jesus is the Son of God, you have seen Him have power over death, but what happens tomorrow has never happened before. How could you imagine what is about to happen? The fathers of our faith had to wait in faith. They had to believe that Christ wasn't simply a prophet, so they waited to see what would happen.
We know what happened and yet we doubt what God can and is doing in our lives. We don't know what God will ask of us so we too have to sit and wait in faith. But we must be convinced in our hearts that the God who died for us and rose again will lead us home, if we only follow Him.
Friday, March 29, 2013
Good Friday Reflection - Be with Him on His Journey
This morning is always a magical time for me. The calm before the emotional storm. I have time this morning to sit so close to The Beloved. Here in the dark church in front of the tempory tabernacle. So close toHim whom I love.
Today is a hard day. The One who loves us all is to die for us all. The person in front of me right now, suffered and died for me. He was beaten, scourged, ridiculed, and crucified for me. We're I the only sinner in need of redemption He still would have done what He did. He is my Beloved, and I am a poor sinner.
But today I can sit with Him. Like I would a friend in the hospital or in jail. I can think about Him and keep Him company. Can't you take some time today and just sit with Him? Walk with Him today down the Via Dolorosa? It will make Easter Sunday that much sweeter if you go on the whole journey with Him.
Today is a hard day. The One who loves us all is to die for us all. The person in front of me right now, suffered and died for me. He was beaten, scourged, ridiculed, and crucified for me. We're I the only sinner in need of redemption He still would have done what He did. He is my Beloved, and I am a poor sinner.
But today I can sit with Him. Like I would a friend in the hospital or in jail. I can think about Him and keep Him company. Can't you take some time today and just sit with Him? Walk with Him today down the Via Dolorosa? It will make Easter Sunday that much sweeter if you go on the whole journey with Him.
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Holy Thursday Reflection - Do This in Memory of Me
And so it starts. The three holiest days of our year. Tonight, we remember the institution of the Eucharist during which our Savior says to us all, "Do this in memory of me". Of course He means the Eucharist, but doesn't He also mean the rest of it?
The first thing He did was wash the feet of the Twelve. He does so much in that one act. He the Teacher and Master becomes the servant. We are all called to be servants, especially when we are called to lead, we are called to be servants. He also purifies the Twelve and so are we called to work for the salvation of those around us. He shows us that we can best do this in humility and through service. He also washes the feet of Judas, the betrayer. We are called to love not only those who are our friends but especially those who hate us and who hurt us.
He then gives us the gift of being eternally with us. By that gift He pledges to stay by us and strengthen us. He gives us His life. We then have to be willing to give Him ours. We are to feed the world with our lives. Feed them spiritually and bodily. The life lived to the other is the only true life. It is a life of Love. God is Love. He gives us a new commandment, Love one another as I have loved you. How did he love us? He died for us, He gave His very body for us, He suffered for us. We are called to do the same. We may not be called to die for anyone or for God, but we still have to die to ourselves. We can't just do it once, we have to do it day by day, minute by minute.
What is it that I need to die to? It changes all the time. But like many people I have my struggles. Facing my demons is one way I can die to myself. It's will be painful. It is already. But I am strengthened by Him who died for me. I only have to die to myself and for that I get everything. Everything that matters because I get love, the Beloved.
This night He gave us all we ever needed. He shows us how to live a righteous life full of all He has to give us.
Help me Oh Lord to remember this night everytime I receive You. Remind me Oh Lord that to live with You, I have to die with You. Grant me Oh Lord the grace I will need to deny myself and walk with You.
The first thing He did was wash the feet of the Twelve. He does so much in that one act. He the Teacher and Master becomes the servant. We are all called to be servants, especially when we are called to lead, we are called to be servants. He also purifies the Twelve and so are we called to work for the salvation of those around us. He shows us that we can best do this in humility and through service. He also washes the feet of Judas, the betrayer. We are called to love not only those who are our friends but especially those who hate us and who hurt us.
He then gives us the gift of being eternally with us. By that gift He pledges to stay by us and strengthen us. He gives us His life. We then have to be willing to give Him ours. We are to feed the world with our lives. Feed them spiritually and bodily. The life lived to the other is the only true life. It is a life of Love. God is Love. He gives us a new commandment, Love one another as I have loved you. How did he love us? He died for us, He gave His very body for us, He suffered for us. We are called to do the same. We may not be called to die for anyone or for God, but we still have to die to ourselves. We can't just do it once, we have to do it day by day, minute by minute.
What is it that I need to die to? It changes all the time. But like many people I have my struggles. Facing my demons is one way I can die to myself. It's will be painful. It is already. But I am strengthened by Him who died for me. I only have to die to myself and for that I get everything. Everything that matters because I get love, the Beloved.
This night He gave us all we ever needed. He shows us how to live a righteous life full of all He has to give us.
Help me Oh Lord to remember this night everytime I receive You. Remind me Oh Lord that to live with You, I have to die with You. Grant me Oh Lord the grace I will need to deny myself and walk with You.
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Reflections on Passion Sunday
Today we start Holy Week with Passion Sunday. We triumphantly and publicly herald the entrance of Our Savior into Jerusalem. We herald His coming as the Great Warrior and leader who will saves from our enemies, then within minutes we are crying Crucify Him! Crucify Him! How often do we do this in our lives? We praise God on those days when we wake up and everything is going great. But then when He asked me to do something, to change, to witness to my faith and risk myself. How often do I turn away like Peter did, and have I asked His forgiveness for the times I cried Crucify Him?
Today I was lucky enough to be Alter Serving. As we read the Passion I became aware of the fact that I was standing next to the tabernacle so the Beloved was there. The one who had been beaten, betrayed, and Crucified was there. Our Passion is so clean so unemotional, but I could remember the same scenes from the Passion of the Christ. I especially remember the scene where Peter hears the cock crow and Jesus looks at Him. The One who dies for us is there. How can we not weep for what He went through and I am thinking, one more week and I can have back what I gave up for Lent. And He is there, waiting to die for us. He freely chooses out of love for us to die that death for us. What am I willing to do for Him? Am I willing to die for Him? Am I willing to die to myself for Him? Am I at least willing to give some of my time for Him?
The hardest day this week for me is Friday afternoon until Saturday evening. To think of the time when Christ wasn't here. Now He is here always in a tabernacle somewhere. But there was a time 2000 years ago when we were without Him. It makes me so sad. I hate to see the empty open tabernacle, so like a tomb. The alter is stripped, the world is broken. But at the sametime I can still sit with Him. Like a wake or a deathbed. Just sit with Him and keep Him company.
The comes Easter......but I am getting a head of myself. We have to wait, and wait makes it all that much sweeter.
Today I was lucky enough to be Alter Serving. As we read the Passion I became aware of the fact that I was standing next to the tabernacle so the Beloved was there. The one who had been beaten, betrayed, and Crucified was there. Our Passion is so clean so unemotional, but I could remember the same scenes from the Passion of the Christ. I especially remember the scene where Peter hears the cock crow and Jesus looks at Him. The One who dies for us is there. How can we not weep for what He went through and I am thinking, one more week and I can have back what I gave up for Lent. And He is there, waiting to die for us. He freely chooses out of love for us to die that death for us. What am I willing to do for Him? Am I willing to die for Him? Am I willing to die to myself for Him? Am I at least willing to give some of my time for Him?
The hardest day this week for me is Friday afternoon until Saturday evening. To think of the time when Christ wasn't here. Now He is here always in a tabernacle somewhere. But there was a time 2000 years ago when we were without Him. It makes me so sad. I hate to see the empty open tabernacle, so like a tomb. The alter is stripped, the world is broken. But at the sametime I can still sit with Him. Like a wake or a deathbed. Just sit with Him and keep Him company.
The comes Easter......but I am getting a head of myself. We have to wait, and wait makes it all that much sweeter.
Monday, March 18, 2013
The Cross and true freedom
I have been watching Fr Robert Barrons Catholicism series and the most recent thing from that wonderful documentary that struck me the the idea that the picture of true freedom is the Crucifixtion. Christ on the cross is perfect picture of detachment. He freely chose to sacrifice Himself. He freely chose to be powerless, naked, and without esteem. Yet, he had all he wanted.
We often think of children as free, yet I look at the high school students I trach and I see them as probably the least free people I know. They are so worried about their clothes and what people are saying about them. They are not free.
How free am I then? How much do I worry about what the people I know think of me? Too much I am afraid. St Francis was as free as anyone I've read about. Maybe that is something the Holy Father is trying to show us. That we need to detach our selves from the world, be poor in spirit and be free. Joy comes with that freedom, and love. Francis showed us that. How can I be more free? What can I detach myself from? I'll have to think about that and pray.
We often think of children as free, yet I look at the high school students I trach and I see them as probably the least free people I know. They are so worried about their clothes and what people are saying about them. They are not free.
How free am I then? How much do I worry about what the people I know think of me? Too much I am afraid. St Francis was as free as anyone I've read about. Maybe that is something the Holy Father is trying to show us. That we need to detach our selves from the world, be poor in spirit and be free. Joy comes with that freedom, and love. Francis showed us that. How can I be more free? What can I detach myself from? I'll have to think about that and pray.
Thursday, March 14, 2013
The Place of Women in the Catholic Church or why I don't need you to save me from my faith
If I hear on more commentator say that The Church ignores 50% of the population I am going to scream! And then I will pray for the person, I will pray that they will someday learn how wrong they are by being truly part of that church.
First of all, we are all built into the Church, the Body of Christ. We are living stones in that Church. As part of the body we are essential but different and each have our function. The eye can not live without the mouth or the hand. In the same way the eye can not decide to be the foot. We all have a job to do in the Church and when we fail to do our job the Church is not as successful, just because I am not a priest doesn't mean that I don't have an important part to play.
Frankly by telling me that half of the population is ingnored by the Catholic Church you demean the work I do and make me out to be an idiot who needs to be somehow saved from my faith. I am obviously not smart enough to know that the ministry work I do is unimportant. For all you women out there working on parish or liturgical councils, teaching CCD, visiting the sick, running food pantries, youth groups, etc you really aren't important to the Church. All the Sisters who run hospitals, schools, nursing homes, and even the ones who question the clergy, they are saying you have no place either.
I know that even those without a formal title in the church who pray in the church and pass along the faith to their children are important. Maybe even the most important, without you the Church wouldnt need priests. Those outside the faith don't understand. Priests are important, without them we have no Mass, no Eucharist, the heart is gone, but they are not everything in the Church. Those in the pews are not passive ,or shouldn't be. Our faith is not something the Priests do to us, we participate in it. So do me a favor, assume that as a woman I am smart enough to know what I am doing and that I don't need you to save me from my faith. Learn about the Church before you talk about it and don't really on poorly catechised former Catholics. I am not blind I know my Chuch has its faults, it's populated by very fallible human beings, but it is also amazingly beautiful.
First of all, we are all built into the Church, the Body of Christ. We are living stones in that Church. As part of the body we are essential but different and each have our function. The eye can not live without the mouth or the hand. In the same way the eye can not decide to be the foot. We all have a job to do in the Church and when we fail to do our job the Church is not as successful, just because I am not a priest doesn't mean that I don't have an important part to play.
Frankly by telling me that half of the population is ingnored by the Catholic Church you demean the work I do and make me out to be an idiot who needs to be somehow saved from my faith. I am obviously not smart enough to know that the ministry work I do is unimportant. For all you women out there working on parish or liturgical councils, teaching CCD, visiting the sick, running food pantries, youth groups, etc you really aren't important to the Church. All the Sisters who run hospitals, schools, nursing homes, and even the ones who question the clergy, they are saying you have no place either.
I know that even those without a formal title in the church who pray in the church and pass along the faith to their children are important. Maybe even the most important, without you the Church wouldnt need priests. Those outside the faith don't understand. Priests are important, without them we have no Mass, no Eucharist, the heart is gone, but they are not everything in the Church. Those in the pews are not passive ,or shouldn't be. Our faith is not something the Priests do to us, we participate in it. So do me a favor, assume that as a woman I am smart enough to know what I am doing and that I don't need you to save me from my faith. Learn about the Church before you talk about it and don't really on poorly catechised former Catholics. I am not blind I know my Chuch has its faults, it's populated by very fallible human beings, but it is also amazingly beautiful.
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Filling the hole left by God
Why, oh why do I try to use food or feeling good or being appreciated to fill the spot where God should be. I want people to like me. I want them to think good of me. I am addicted to honor. This is what I need to give up for Lent. How do I do this and still do Gods work? I make myself miserable by looking for happiness in ways that are fleeting. Honor is so fleeting, you have to seek it moment to moment. I a second it can be gone. Christ on the cross is the picture of freedom and joy according to St Thomas Aquinis. How can I get there? How can I become detached? At this point I think I need to pray to God for help. I want the true freedom that comes from loving God. I don't want to worry about approval and prestige.
I think that I need to start with accepting myself and knowing that imperfect as I am that God loves me. Maybe I need to start with accepting God completely. Surrendering myself to Him and asking Him to fill me. I can not fill the whole in my life where God should be. I need to let Him fill me and stop kicking Him out when I think He should reject me. When I do that I feel the lack of God so completely. That is true desolation and Hell here on earth.
In AA you learn let go and let God. I am the prodigal daughter all I need to do is turn back to Him and He is waiting there to welcome me back.
Dear Lord take away my shame. You never desired me to feel the shame I feel, you want me to feel Your love and be freed by that love. Fill my heart with Your love and help me to realize that I don't have to earn that love. It is a gift. Free me to Your will. Help me to remember that all I need is You.
I think that I need to start with accepting myself and knowing that imperfect as I am that God loves me. Maybe I need to start with accepting God completely. Surrendering myself to Him and asking Him to fill me. I can not fill the whole in my life where God should be. I need to let Him fill me and stop kicking Him out when I think He should reject me. When I do that I feel the lack of God so completely. That is true desolation and Hell here on earth.
In AA you learn let go and let God. I am the prodigal daughter all I need to do is turn back to Him and He is waiting there to welcome me back.
Dear Lord take away my shame. You never desired me to feel the shame I feel, you want me to feel Your love and be freed by that love. Fill my heart with Your love and help me to realize that I don't have to earn that love. It is a gift. Free me to Your will. Help me to remember that all I need is You.
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Lent on God's terms - Not mine
I had a great plan for this Lenten season. I was going to get up early every morning and be first at Morning Prayer and get some time to blog more and read more before prayer. I was going to fast and do all sorts of great things! I,I,I,I, me, me, me, me. The best part was that everyone would see that I was spending more time at church and everyone would see that I was fasting. I was going to be so great, and that's the point of Lent isn't it? To look so holy on the outside while being proud on the inside? God didnt think so either. Lucky for me, He saved me from me.
Right as Lent started my Dad went into the hospital and I had to take my Mom back and forth to the hospital and stay with her and my Dad. I couldn't do all the (self-agrandizing) things I planned to do. I felt like such a failure. I thought I was going to do something great this year. Lent was going to be like a mini retreat for me. I was going to be so holy. I wouldn't tell anyone what I was doing but I secretly in my heart hoped they would see. Instead, I am missing Mass and other things. I am too tired to do much extra praying and fasting has been replaced by hospital food. I was actually getting angry at myself and my parents that I was not able to give up anything for Lent. I was embarrassed, I hoped no one would ask me what I was doing for Lent.
Finally, today I understand. God is asking me to give up my time and control over my life to Him. I am doing what I need to for Lent (I just need to do it a bit more graciously maybe). The thing I wanted to do werent bad, but the reason I wanted to do them was. I pray to be a reed in His hand and to be supple in doing His will. Instead I still insist on doing it my way and worry about what other people think of me. Dying to myself is so hard and i fail at it daily. Somewhere along the way I confused doing Gods will with people accepting and admiring me. What I need to remember is that isn't the goal. The goal is to do Gods will and hope people come to admire and accept God. His love is enough for me.
Dear Lord, thank you for this lesson. I know I will need it again in the future. Thank you for your mercy.
Right as Lent started my Dad went into the hospital and I had to take my Mom back and forth to the hospital and stay with her and my Dad. I couldn't do all the (self-agrandizing) things I planned to do. I felt like such a failure. I thought I was going to do something great this year. Lent was going to be like a mini retreat for me. I was going to be so holy. I wouldn't tell anyone what I was doing but I secretly in my heart hoped they would see. Instead, I am missing Mass and other things. I am too tired to do much extra praying and fasting has been replaced by hospital food. I was actually getting angry at myself and my parents that I was not able to give up anything for Lent. I was embarrassed, I hoped no one would ask me what I was doing for Lent.
Finally, today I understand. God is asking me to give up my time and control over my life to Him. I am doing what I need to for Lent (I just need to do it a bit more graciously maybe). The thing I wanted to do werent bad, but the reason I wanted to do them was. I pray to be a reed in His hand and to be supple in doing His will. Instead I still insist on doing it my way and worry about what other people think of me. Dying to myself is so hard and i fail at it daily. Somewhere along the way I confused doing Gods will with people accepting and admiring me. What I need to remember is that isn't the goal. The goal is to do Gods will and hope people come to admire and accept God. His love is enough for me.
Dear Lord, thank you for this lesson. I know I will need it again in the future. Thank you for your mercy.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Ash Wednesday Reflections - Entering the Desert
I sit here in the dark cold church, in the quiet, thinking about the next 40 days. Forty days of prayer and renewal. This year is different. I used to spend Lent contemplating how I fell short of Gods plan for me, how I had failed. This year I am going to contemplate how much God loves me and what I can do for Him. I want to spend these 40 days letting my heart grow bigger. Once my heart grows bigger it can let in whatever needs to come in.
I am reading Fr Richard Rohr's Wonderous Encounters Scripture for Lent. Today he says that we can start with a desire to desire. We don't even have to know what to desire, but just desire to desire. The desires of our hearts will come from the Holy Spirit. What is it that you desire deep down? Not the desires of the world but what is deep down in your heart? What is God calling you to do?
We don't need to know today what that desire is. This time of Lent is a time strip away. It is a time to pare down our world, to slow down our lives, to take time to think and to pray. Remember this is a time to pray for ourselves, our family, friends, and most importantly our enemies and those who hate us. Watch out for distractions. The closer we come to God, the more we will be attached. If we pray and act out of love we cannot go wrong.
I am reading Fr Richard Rohr's Wonderous Encounters Scripture for Lent. Today he says that we can start with a desire to desire. We don't even have to know what to desire, but just desire to desire. The desires of our hearts will come from the Holy Spirit. What is it that you desire deep down? Not the desires of the world but what is deep down in your heart? What is God calling you to do?
We don't need to know today what that desire is. This time of Lent is a time strip away. It is a time to pare down our world, to slow down our lives, to take time to think and to pray. Remember this is a time to pray for ourselves, our family, friends, and most importantly our enemies and those who hate us. Watch out for distractions. The closer we come to God, the more we will be attached. If we pray and act out of love we cannot go wrong.
Sunday, February 10, 2013
The Love of God - Love is the thing
I was asked how can I judge what other Christians have done. For the most part I can't. I don't know what is in their hearts but at times it is evident. Love is the thing, love for God and love for others is how you can judge your own actions. When we act out of fear, jealousy, or hatred we are not acting in way God desires. Our God is not simply a God of rules. We don't love God by following His commandments but we love God so we follow His commandments. Those do not know God and don't follow his commandments do not sin as much as those who know Him and love Him. In little things our sins are greater than theirs in greater matters in part at least because when we don't act out of love we drive the non-believers farther from faith. We might be tempted to blame the non-believers actions on the devil but I would say we do more good for hell when we call ourselves Christian but act out of hatered and fear. Indeed tore,ember this when I amateur work and things don't go my way. I wear a crucifix and if I act unjustly or rashly in the eyes of my co-workers I am acting like all Christians do. We are not and never will be perfect. We can repair much of the hurt we do by owning our faults, apologizing, and working to make reparations. If you are wondering how you should respond to a situation remember this, Love is the thing. Act out of love for the other and you can't go wrong. But until you love yourself as God loves you, then you can't truly love others.
Keep in mind, love is not a soft thing. It isn't cute and cuddly. Love is hard and often painful. It isn't easy to Love. It means putting ourselves out there. It means not doing the easy simple or even popular thing. True love means telling the truth and can make others uncomfortable. It means embracing the lepers of our world, praying for terrorists, caring for addicts, and doing good to those who hurt and hate you. It takes bravery. Don't forget our model is Christ who died for those cursed him, betrayed him, and abandoned him.
Keep in mind, love is not a soft thing. It isn't cute and cuddly. Love is hard and often painful. It isn't easy to Love. It means putting ourselves out there. It means not doing the easy simple or even popular thing. True love means telling the truth and can make others uncomfortable. It means embracing the lepers of our world, praying for terrorists, caring for addicts, and doing good to those who hurt and hate you. It takes bravery. Don't forget our model is Christ who died for those cursed him, betrayed him, and abandoned him.
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Being openly Christian
I am often amazed at how often someone who thinks themselves open minded calls me names because I am openly Christian. It really makes me happy to be able to suffer in such a minor way for Christ. Many people would at this point start to talk about how awful those people are but I won't. They are a reminder to me that we should be better mirrors of the Love of God and how far I fall short. I am so grateful to have someone else to pray for. I truly wish them love and joy. Those things come from God and we all need more love in our lives. I thank them for reminding me that they are watching us and we need to be good examples of true Christian love. I have to learn to love them better. The better I can love, the better an example I can be to my fellow Christians too. Unfortunately, as I am often reminded I fall short of truly loving all my fellow man. I am a human being and i make mistakes, luckily God still loves me. I wish God would give the gift of knowing what each one needs to be healed of whatever hurts them in their lives. I would wish to someday know that love for us that drove Him to sacrifice Himself for us and to have that love for each person. I wish I could give them the gift of seeing Gods love. In the meantime I can still pray for them, for them to know infinite Love and Joy.
Friday, February 8, 2013
Preparing for Lent - getting ready to enter the dessert
We are one week out from Ash Wednesday. Now is time to prepare for Lent. Do you know what you are going to give up? I usually indulge a bit more in this week in whatever I am going to give up. Sort of getting it out of my system. But what are you going to DO for Lent?
Lent isnt just a time of giving something up. We are preparing for God to enter into our lives as well. It is a time of Palm Sunday where God triumphantly enters into our hearts. How can prepare our hearts for God? Add something to your life. Many parishes have lenten study groups or bible studies during this time. One i would recommend is Fr Robert Barrons Catholicism. The production on the series is first rate, the cinematography is amazing, and the theology is very understandable. Read more, pray more, connect with God more. Store up your spiritual treasure during this great time of waiting.
We are entering a time of penance. Which isn't a bad thing. Don't think of penance as when you were little and got a spanking. Think of it as when you got a shot of antibiotic when you were sick. It is something good for you. It will ultimately make you feel better. Our God is Love. He is not the God of Love, He is Love. He wants the best for us. Open your heart to Him and He will lead you to what he wants of you.
Go one this journey with Him, enter Jerusalem, pray in the garden, walk the way of the cross, enter His tomb. Then on Easter morning, welcome Him into your heart with great joy. But you have to walk the whole way with Him.
Lent isnt just a time of giving something up. We are preparing for God to enter into our lives as well. It is a time of Palm Sunday where God triumphantly enters into our hearts. How can prepare our hearts for God? Add something to your life. Many parishes have lenten study groups or bible studies during this time. One i would recommend is Fr Robert Barrons Catholicism. The production on the series is first rate, the cinematography is amazing, and the theology is very understandable. Read more, pray more, connect with God more. Store up your spiritual treasure during this great time of waiting.
We are entering a time of penance. Which isn't a bad thing. Don't think of penance as when you were little and got a spanking. Think of it as when you got a shot of antibiotic when you were sick. It is something good for you. It will ultimately make you feel better. Our God is Love. He is not the God of Love, He is Love. He wants the best for us. Open your heart to Him and He will lead you to what he wants of you.
Go one this journey with Him, enter Jerusalem, pray in the garden, walk the way of the cross, enter His tomb. Then on Easter morning, welcome Him into your heart with great joy. But you have to walk the whole way with Him.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Morning Prayer Reflection - Sitting in His Presence
Oh Dear Lord! This is how I wish to spend my life, sitting with You, talking with You. I pray Dear Lord that someday I will learn to live in Your Presence even when I am not here in your house. But until then and today I will start my day gazing at You. To start my day looking on the one who loves me best, who really knows me and loves me is a treat. You have brought love and mercy into my life and for that I thank you.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Why ProLife has to be Pro Women
The ProLife movement has got to meet head on the claim that we are not Pro Woman and educate the the non-pro woman elements in our ranks. To be ProLife, we have to support women. There has never been a woman who skipped up to an abortion clinic saying "Yeah! I get to have an abortion". It goes against our nature. The forces in the past that denigrated a woman who had an unwanted pregnancy and made her a permanent second class citizen for having a baby out of wedlock, were anti woman and not ProLife. ProLife should, and does in many cases, support these women now. Many pro life group work to help them bear the burden of bringing the child into the world and either give the child up or get started as a new parent. Abortion supports the idea that the mistaken pregnancy is so wrong and so shameful that the woman's child has to be sacrificed. How does that empower a woman? It says you did something so wrong you now have to go against your very nature. We are designed to want to protect our offspring. Even those who reject God and the idea he made us must agree that we by our nature want to protect our children. To make a woman believe that an abortion is something that won't effect her, is wrong. It goes against how we are. ProLife understands and wants to help and support these women.
Abortion, like suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and just as unfortunate. We need to work within our culture to promote the idea of the woman who decides to give her child life ia a hero. If she doesn't want to raise the child, we should congratulate, support, and thank her for giving her child up for adoption. We need to make that choice attractive, and promote that idea in our culture. If churches would create a fund to support these women while they are pregnant and do what they to make their lives better after they give the child up that might help. At the very least we can promote this in the media.
Until we take charge of this issue of being pro woman, the otherside will continue to promote the idea that this is still the 1950s and women have no control over their lives and so have to hide an unwanted pregnancy through abortion. Maybe the truth is that the otherside finds the idea that women are human and flawed and make mistakes so appalling that they are ashamed of the woman and think she should hide the evidence. Women are human and there will be unwanted pregnancies. We need as a culture to accept this idea and support women to do what is best for them. Bring their child to term and either keep the child or give it up. They say we are anti woman because we don't accept abortion. I say that what we don't accept is the idea that women need to be made to suffer for an unwanted pregnancy.
Abortion, like suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and just as unfortunate. We need to work within our culture to promote the idea of the woman who decides to give her child life ia a hero. If she doesn't want to raise the child, we should congratulate, support, and thank her for giving her child up for adoption. We need to make that choice attractive, and promote that idea in our culture. If churches would create a fund to support these women while they are pregnant and do what they to make their lives better after they give the child up that might help. At the very least we can promote this in the media.
Until we take charge of this issue of being pro woman, the otherside will continue to promote the idea that this is still the 1950s and women have no control over their lives and so have to hide an unwanted pregnancy through abortion. Maybe the truth is that the otherside finds the idea that women are human and flawed and make mistakes so appalling that they are ashamed of the woman and think she should hide the evidence. Women are human and there will be unwanted pregnancies. We need as a culture to accept this idea and support women to do what is best for them. Bring their child to term and either keep the child or give it up. They say we are anti woman because we don't accept abortion. I say that what we don't accept is the idea that women need to be made to suffer for an unwanted pregnancy.
The Big Lie - Who is really fighting a war on Women?
The lie is that the Pro Abortion side is really on the side of women, they know what is best for us, how women should live. Even if we don't want to. They tells that we shouldn't rely on our families and other relationships for fulfillment. Work is where we are to find our happiness. We don't need children and love to be happy. We can put off having children as long as we want and then, if we must, we can have a child later when we have our careers. We don't even need to marry to have those children either, better in fact to be single moms. This is bullshit. Sorry to be blunt but I often wonder if any of the people who made this up are women. After years of delaying my life to get my career going I now see that unless I someday become Jane Goodall or Jane Austin the meaning in my life comes from the impact I have on those around me, my family and friends. I don't have children, and I regret that, I will always regret that. I will however never regret that I didn't spend more time at work pushing papers and doing something that could be done by almost anyone else. Talking, teaching,a nd being with young people is much more important to me. Having an impact on their lives building them up is more important to me. And why can't the world change and allow women to both have children and advance in their careers? Why can't the world change to make being a family easier? Do we have to buy into the idea that we all have to now fit in the old mold of working men? Even men for that matter? I challenge the young people of this world to not accept that we have to live to work. We need to work to live. When life is the focus of our lives we know that personal relationships, love, marriage, family, and community is way more important than money. Success shouldn't be measured by how much money you have but how many relationships. We are told that casual sex is what we should want and that if a child is conceived we can dispose of it without any consequences. To do this people have to become objects to us that are there only for our pleasure. A bit of our humanity has to die. Then we are told that children are our right and we can do whatever we want to bring them about. The child then becomes our possession and not a free gift of God. Once we have that child, God forbid we want to spend time with them, unless it's to push them to become what we want. A happy well adjusted child is sacrificed for a successful child who goes to the right school and gets right job. Life is meant to be lived and enjoyed, we were made by God to love and be loved. All else is illusion and fleeting.
Friday, January 25, 2013
October Baby
I didn't know when I took off early from work today how many tears I was going to shed. We watched the movie October Baby a great John Schneider movie. It's about a girl who was the product of a failed abortion and her journey. To find out you weren't wanted by the woman who carried you would be so hard. But this movie was about forgiveness. I didn't because it was sad, even though it was in parts, but because it was beautiful. I liked that it was a bit messy. The girls parents were human and made mistakes. The biological mother got forgiven and healing but still chose to not meet with the girl. The ending was happy but not sappy. Really well done. There is a suprize at the end so you have to watch the credits. I can't wait to see another Pro Life movie John Schneider filmed here in Smithville called Doonby. Either movie is a get way to celebrate life and especially ProLife month.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
January is Right to Life Month - Update
I wrote a blog 4 years ago about my feelings about being Pro-life and what I thought about the Pro-life and Pro-Abortion movements. The sad thing is that I don't see that much has changed. In a way that's a good thing. We had been told that the Obama administration would push through all kinds of new legislation while some of that has gone through mostly things are the same for the moment. I think in part this was due to the diligence and hard work of Pro-lifers.
I am sad though that we haven't seen any real progress. We are wed to the Republican party because the Democratic party is wed to the Pro-abortion side but we have seen so little progress. Because we have no choice we have no power to change things. They know we have to vote for them or not vote at all. At the same time we get legislation that may actually push a woman to abort a baby if she feels there is no support for her.
I think that an even bigger threat coming our way is the split in the Pro-life movement that may be caused by Obama care. The Catholic Church may be forced to make hard decisions concerning the Healthcare systems we run. To us being forced to provide abortifacients to employees is the same as being forced to pay for abortions done in an abortion clinic. The Protestant side of Pro-life may not support us in our stance or our right to religious liberty. We have to ready for this by praying to God for His help and to make strong for our peaceful fight.
I hope that the Catholic Church will not be left standing alone. I pray that all those who support life will support us in our rights even if they choose to not oppose contraception. Only if we are united will we have a chance of winning. If they are able to divide us then we are lost.
I am sad though that we haven't seen any real progress. We are wed to the Republican party because the Democratic party is wed to the Pro-abortion side but we have seen so little progress. Because we have no choice we have no power to change things. They know we have to vote for them or not vote at all. At the same time we get legislation that may actually push a woman to abort a baby if she feels there is no support for her.
I think that an even bigger threat coming our way is the split in the Pro-life movement that may be caused by Obama care. The Catholic Church may be forced to make hard decisions concerning the Healthcare systems we run. To us being forced to provide abortifacients to employees is the same as being forced to pay for abortions done in an abortion clinic. The Protestant side of Pro-life may not support us in our stance or our right to religious liberty. We have to ready for this by praying to God for His help and to make strong for our peaceful fight.
I hope that the Catholic Church will not be left standing alone. I pray that all those who support life will support us in our rights even if they choose to not oppose contraception. Only if we are united will we have a chance of winning. If they are able to divide us then we are lost.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Resolutions for the new year
Our Priest today told this story. The was a little boy and he asked his father, "Father if there are three frogs on a branch and one decides to jump off, how many frogs are left"? The Father said "Easy, two". "No"said the boy. "Hummm" said the father "I know, the one frog jumped off so the other two followed, and now there are none". "No" said the boy, "remember I only said the frog decided to jump, not that he did jump". His point was that resolutions are wishes unless we take concrete steps to do them. He recommended that we make concrete resolutions not wishes. We should resolve to come closer to God, but instead to resolve to pray at a certain time every day, or to read spiritual books. I really like that idea.
To strengthen ourselves for this task if we remember to take the Holy Child in our arms everyday He will strengthen us. Also think if we are carrying the Holy Child into the world the Communion of Saints will be with us. They are drawn to Him and as long as you hold Him in your arms, they will be with you also, helping you.
Today I watched again the movie "The Thirteenth Day" what a beautiful movie and a beautiful message. If you want a good resolution for the next year resolve to say the rosary every day and so become closer to Our Lady, and so to her Son.
Love God with your whole heart everyday and carry that Love out into the world. Show the world who our God is by how you treat them. Carry the Child Jesus out into the world, when you meet anyone hold Him out to them and let them see Him. When we don't show them Jesus by how we act, what they see they take to be Him anyway. When we carry selfishness, judgement, hatred, out into the world instead, that is how the world sees Jesus.
May the Lord bless you and keep you. May this next year bring you closer to Our Lord and so bring so many more to God.
To strengthen ourselves for this task if we remember to take the Holy Child in our arms everyday He will strengthen us. Also think if we are carrying the Holy Child into the world the Communion of Saints will be with us. They are drawn to Him and as long as you hold Him in your arms, they will be with you also, helping you.
Today I watched again the movie "The Thirteenth Day" what a beautiful movie and a beautiful message. If you want a good resolution for the next year resolve to say the rosary every day and so become closer to Our Lady, and so to her Son.
Love God with your whole heart everyday and carry that Love out into the world. Show the world who our God is by how you treat them. Carry the Child Jesus out into the world, when you meet anyone hold Him out to them and let them see Him. When we don't show them Jesus by how we act, what they see they take to be Him anyway. When we carry selfishness, judgement, hatred, out into the world instead, that is how the world sees Jesus.
May the Lord bless you and keep you. May this next year bring you closer to Our Lord and so bring so many more to God.
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