Filling the hole left by God

Why, oh why do I try to use food or feeling good or being appreciated to fill the spot where God should be. I want people to like me.  I want them to think good of me.  I am addicted to honor.  This is what I need to give up for Lent.  How do I do this and still do Gods work?  I make myself miserable by looking for happiness in ways that are fleeting.  Honor is so fleeting, you have to seek it moment to moment.  I a second it can be gone.  Christ on the cross is the picture of freedom and joy according to St Thomas Aquinis.  How can I get there?  How can I become detached?  At this point I think I need to pray to God for help.  I want the true freedom that comes from loving God.  I don't want to worry about approval and prestige.

I think that I need to start with accepting myself and knowing that imperfect as I am that God loves me.  Maybe I need to start with accepting God completely. Surrendering myself to Him and asking Him to fill me.  I can not fill the whole in my life where God should be.  I need to let Him fill me and stop kicking Him out when I think He should reject me.  When I do that I feel the lack of God so completely.  That is true desolation and Hell here on earth.

In AA you learn let go and let God.  I am the prodigal daughter all I need to do is turn back to Him and He is waiting there to welcome me back.

Dear Lord take away my shame.  You never desired me to feel the shame I feel, you want me to feel Your love and be freed by that love.  Fill my heart with Your love and help me to realize that I don't have to earn that love.  It is a gift.  Free me to Your will.  Help me to remember that all I need is You.