The Wall of my Sin

What is sin and what does it do?  I feel my sin as a wall, however thin, that I put up between myself and the Beloved.  I don't mean to put it there but it is there still the same.  At times I think that I am the one who continues to hold that wall there even He has forgiven me?

What is this wall?  It is a wall I put up to protect my selfishness.  Behind this wall my actions are all directed towards myself without a thought of how they effect others.  My sin hurts myself, others, and God no matter how much I try to deny that.

But God tears down that wall, even if I build it up again.  Behind the wall I can't see my faults but I still know they are there and hate them.  But the Beloved tears down my wall and floods my soul with light.  I see my faults but I also see that those faults just draw me to others.  They are there so that I need others and I need God.  Perfection would mean I didn't need God or anyone else and would be left with only myself.  Perceived perfection or the need for perfection divides me from God and others and leaves me alone to knaw on myself.  So I thank God for those imperfections.