Sitting here in front of the tabernacle I am reminded of how I used to feel when I was consecrated to the Lord. Three times I took temporary vows and on those days I felt so beloved and protected. I could go anywhere and have no fear. I was the Lord's and no one could take me from Him.
On Holy Thursday and Good Friday I would sit and contemplate the Bridegroom, my Bridegroom and I was His lowly imperfect little bride. I was protected concealed in the wound in His side. I gave myself to Him, I was His. I felt so loved, it thrilled me. Ecstacy would wash over me, and all the world would fade away, except for Him.
I turned away from Him. I didn't go through with my final vows. Since then I haven't felt as close to Him, and I haven't been as brave. I want to go back to that. I will contemplate amend pray for the next year to dicern if that is the right path for me, it permanent consecration is the path He has chosen for me, but in the meantime I give myself to God. I am His and he is my Lord, My Savior, my King, my Ruler, my Beloved. I will not leave Him again.
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